Hi,
I've been studying LC eating for several years, incorporated some of the principles into my diet, but was terrified to give up the chocolate. I'd literally have panic attacks if I didn't eat Hershey bars or make brownies or have some kind of chocolate. I weighed 292 last month at the doctor's office, am 5'8", and have been this heavy for over a decade. My goal is 150 lbs. In college I weighed 135, but after 7 kids I figure that's not reasonable to shoot for.
When I was a kid and all the way through to my first year in college I could eat anything at all. I was so active that I stayed skinny, even dropping to 127 lbs during my Sophomore year in HS due to being on the swim team and swimming 2 1/2 hours a day. I took a lot of pride in that, too, not realizing AT ALL the terrible battle of being overweight. I remember seeing men (I had issues with men, anyway, back then, so....) who must have weighed 350-400 lbs sitting in a restuarant eating and I was so judgemental and condemning it was sickening. I had no compassion, no empathy, no understanding whatsoever. Well, that all changed when I got married, got a desk job, and my thyroid went haywire. Then I got pregnant, too, gained about 60 lbs., had severe clinical depression for several years, got pregnant again, was finally diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and had 4 children in 4 1/2 years. By then I weighed about 270 lbs, was eating a pan of brownies a day just to self-medicate the self-hatred, depression and constant anxiety I was going through. It didn't take long to gain up into the 290's, but at that point I leveled out. I just couldn't bear the thought of that 300 coming up on the scale, but if the numbers dropped below 290 I panicked and ate to gain it back.
I'm a classic emotional eater, and my issues with food have been merely a symptom of other core emotional issues that I've been addressing ever since. I wanted to be happy -- that's been my goal in life. Not just cope. I want happiness! I found a good mainstream therapist who helped me A LOT after my first 4 children were born. I stabilized at that point emotionally along with my weight, but never quite reached a point where I felt safe losing weight. I was happy, though. Happiest than I'd ever been in my life. My marriage was good, the kids were so much fun (once we got out of the diaper stage), and we bought our first house.
When my (then) youngest went to kindergarten I decided to take a class at the community college nearby. I had to swallow my pride and ask for a special desk because I didn't fit in the standard chair & desk combinations the school used in their classrooms. The next day of class I found a special desk and separate chair waiting for me in the back of the room. It had a HUGE handicapped symbol stenciled in the upper corner. I was mortified and quickly covered the symbol with my book bag. When did my weight gain become a handicap? I was also desperately ashamed of myself for being ashamed of the handicap label! At times in those days my self-hatred was boundless. I actually wrote an essay for class on that incident -- maybe I'll post it
. Really woke me up to a lot of self-deception I was still doing.
I continued to look for methods of healing the inner me, so the outside could follow. I looked into Overeaters Anonymous, and while I recognized the power of the principles they ascribed to, I just wasn't willing to say I'd be an addict for life. I don't believe that, I refuse to accept that, and choose instead to believe in the power to heal, completely, 100%, including this addiction to carbs. I *know* my eating is not just physical, not just biological, and not just an illness. I'm very much aware of the frustration, anger, fear, and/or the desire to feel loved, or fear that I'm not loved, that I have when I reach for the food.
So, I kept looking and about a year ago I found meridian therapies. First I tried Rapid Eye Technology therapy (it is more of a metaphoric therapy, not a meridian therapy), which was effective, but I had to keep going back. I wanted something I could do at home.
During that time I attended a seminar by an RET therapist, Carol Tuttle. She also did a lot of energy work, something I was *not* comfortable with at all -- too New Age, too weird, to 'woo-woo'.** RET had already been a stretch, but I knew that there were studies on Rapid Eye Movement, so I was willing to open up to it. During the seminar Tuttle also demonstrated this one technique called EFT that was too easy and too simple and looked like a parlor trick. I didn't believe it had any effect at all on the guy who volunteered for the demonstration. The demonstration lasted about 5 minutes, tops. I forgot it ever happened for about 6 months.
Then one day in desperation I prayed to God for help to cure this food addiction, and into my mind came that demonstration and the feeling of being urged to study it further. I remembered that Tuttle had said she had a link to the EFT on her website, so I went, began reading, downloaded the training manual, tried it out and just like that, my chocolate craving was gone. I was totally shocked. All I did was tap on a few meridian points, like accupressure -- which I had seen on the Discovery Channel and which western science has studied and proven to be effective with phobias and other things -- and state an affirmation while I was tapping. It was a little bizarre, something I didn't want to do in public, but dang! It worked! I didn't realize at first that it worked. I'd tapped one "round" and then my preschoolers ran in and needed me, so I put the manual down and took care of them. Four hours later my son Mark asked me if I was still going to the store. It was like a bolt of lightening. I had completely FORGOTTEN about the overwhelming need I'd been feeling to get to the store and get some chocolate that I had tapped on with the EFT. Not only had I forgotten all about it, I *still* didn't want to go! I didn't CARE if I had chocolate or not. I became a believer after that.
I started studying and using EFT daily on every aspect of my chocolate and junk food cravings. Pretty soon I was also using it to address a childhood (which took care of my issues with men, also) and other past traumas big and small. I've finally reached a point now where I'm no longer afraid to lose weight. Something finally clicked for me last Friday night, and I suddenly knew I could do it. In fact, I'm excited, and can hardly wait.
So here I am, having studied LC, and finally ready, really ready, to put it into practice. I only want to do it once, and never have to lose this weight twice, which is why I did so much work on the emotional issues first! And now, as more issues come up as the weight comes off, I have a simple tool to balance those like LCing will balance my hormones.
That's my journey to get to this point. I'm now 38, still happily married (having lived through all that with me, it's obvious my husband's a saint), with 7 kids (the first four are ages 17, 15, 14, and 13. The last three are ages 4 1/2, 3 and 3 {yes, twins}). I'm really thrilled to be here at the Triple-Digit Club.
Thanks for listening if you got this far. If you are curious about EFT you can check it out at
http://www.emofree.com . It is free to download the beginner's manual, and there are hundreds of case-histories of its successful use in everything from pain and illness to weight loss and phobias that can also be read for free. It's cool. I've been amazed.
**I have to say over the last few years I've become fascinated with energy medicine. I have too many friends who have benefited from various healing modalities to be a skeptic anymore.
evergreen