They say I’ve lost too much weight.

I know what I want for myself and am working very hard to get there.

I have been doing Atkins for one year now, lost 50 pounds, am below my original goal, and am so happy and proud of myself. I have had a weight problem my whole life but carried the weight well. Not one of my friends would have called me fat, even though by the “books” I was in the obese category. Now I am just at the upper edge of the “normal” category for my height and with my build, I look pretty good, especially for a young 56. I work out and am reshaping my body and working on just the right mix of muscle mass and weight to fit a standard clothing size comfortably and establish a regimen that I can maintain for life.

Life is good, so what’s my bitch?

About a month ago, friends and family members started asking me if I was done loosing weight as they thought I looked good and should not loose anymore. When I say I am still working on another 5 or six pounds I am met with horrified looks and comments. These include thinking that I will look emaciated and unhealthy and that I don’t know what I am doing and have lost sight of what I really look like. My wonderful bride supports me 100%, is the only one who sees me naked, and even though she thought I looked fine a year ago, can not stop telling me how great I look now, and is excited to see what the last finishing touches in the next 6 months will do.

This last weekend was particularly unbearable as I visited my 93 year old mother who I see only about every 2 months. Yes, I know about all of the issues sons have with moms and that one has to cut some slack in situations. But… It was three days of incessant offerings of cake, pie, cookies, crackers, fruit juices and the like. Mom is obese and has no LC foods in the house at all, so I travel with my own food as I have for the last year. I suffer no cravings or temptations for “the other stuff”. This creates quite a problem, as you might imagine. I don’t give in or eat anything to satisfy her and simply prepare my own meals. She also made a public announcement at a gathering that she could not support my further weight loss and wanted me to stop it. WOW! Anyway, I got thought it with the help of a drink or two in the evening, kept my cool, and gave thanks to my deity that I have my own life and am in control of it. I have made discussions or even the mention of my lifestyle a “non topic” in future contact with Mom.

My bride’s mother hit me similar comments three weeks ago when we were out to supper. Of course what I was eating became the topic, initiated by her, and then wanting to know just how long I was going to do “this”. I explained that “this” was my new lifestyle and was most likely what I would do until death. She indicated that that could be sooner than I expected based on how “thin” I have become.
Mom-in-law is obese.

I know that a lot of this stuff falls into the category of misplaced compliments, intentional or unintentional sabotage, or just plain stupidity, and don’t pay it much mind.
It is however so very interesting that I am having such reactions to being thinner and that I never heard a comment when I was fat.

I welcome all of this now and will enjoy the show, knowing that soon folks will accept my new image as what will be normal for me, forgetting that I was fat and out of shape once. At some time down the road, they will even stop waiting for me to “gain it all back” and perhaps turn their attention to their own poor physical condition.

I hope you find this rant interesting. I suspect it is all quite “normal” in this arena.

Wishing you all the best and success!

T.

You look great (at least from the pic I see ). If you feel good and feel healthy... they just will have to get used to what your body adjust to naturally.

Good for you!

tes, first i want to say congratulations to all you have accomplished and to how far you have come. not only are you building a strong and healthy body but i see that you have paid much attention to your mind and spirit. you deserve every bit of happiness and to feel good about yourself. kudos to your bride for being your #1 supporter (next to yourself). as far as those that have negative things to say, i truly feel that perhaps they are jealous and so miserable in their own minds that they have to pick at something - anything - to justify their misery and make themselves feel better. but somehow, i think you know this already. your picture tells a story - one of a soul who has truly found happiness and peace within himself.

brightest blessings to you!

Alot of it is they are just used to seeing you a certain build. So of course you look thin compaired to what you used to be. If they had met you at this weight and known you as long at this weight, then 5 pounds wouldn't make them blink.

I get the same thing from my family and my SO's family. They keep asking how long to I plan on continueing to lose weight and when will I stop. I am in the healthy range for my height now, which I'm excited about, but I would like to make improvements on certain areas of my body. If it takes building more lean mass to tighten up and the scale doesn't move, so be it. I also am considering lowering my overall goal to 125 too though

Let's look at this.... and think about it...there are a lot of quick fix programs out there. And, a lot of people who think weight loss has little to do with nutritional choices abuse their bodies, some even die.... These people in your family as well as friends are just concerned. They are not fully informed and they want you to know that they care. They certainly don't want to lose you!

Take the time to inventory the benefits of the program you are on and if it is nutritionally based, like Atkins, relax and enjoy your accomplishment.

Keep their view of the situation in mind. Their experience with weight loss may seem like a lost cause and here you are doing it....

Always take the time to look at where you were and where you are - compare...

It sounds like those comments are straight out of the Obese Relatives Playbook. I swear there must be one. LOL

Sounds like you are well-grounded and have a healthy body image, so you know what do do with those comments.

TES - I am not laughing at you. That is my crazy laugh because I get the same comments.

Out of college I weighed 134 (was a gymanast) - I went up to 195 lbs in over 23 years. Particularly when I went from 160 to 195 is when I really felt fat. Then discovered Atkins and lost 37 lbs - so my friends start saying - are you still losing weight. I asked why and they said - "you are starting to look unhealthy! Look at your wrists. " Well my wrists never changed. I have the same thin wrists that I always had - that is not what got fat. Other people say why did I ever lose weight - they never remember me overweight and can't understand how I could have lost 37 lbs. So I tell them all I want to do is get down to 148 that I used to be 134. They say " You don't want to go to 134 do you?" I say - did I say that no I said 148 can you understand 148? They look at you like you have an eating disorder. Then my boss said I look too thin am I still losing weight? People tell me I look like I am still losing weight and I have been stable with maintenance for over 1 year. I have been the same exact weight. It is absolutely crazy!

Just keep up the good work!

Yes, my mother-in-law was telling me "You better not lose too much more weight!" when I was 190. 65 pounds away from goal! Family and friends usually mean well, and I think of it as a compliment. It means they never thought of me as fat in the first place, and now that I'm significantly smaller than I used to be, they see me "shrinking" and worry about my health.

I think that some people who are overweight get very concerned when they see someone lose weight. I think it makes them feel bad about themselves. I believe I have had those feelings myself, back when I was at a high stable weight, although I would never have told someone they were getting too thin.

First, congratulations on your great weight loss! What an accomplishment. And you look great, judging by your picture.

I went throught the same thing, and I think it's just because people are used to seeing you a certain way, and it's unnerving to them to see you what in their eyes is "so skinny." In a way, they just care about you. I had to endure people pulling me aside and asking me if I was ok, after I lost 50 pounds after law school.

It sounds like you are centered and keeping your wits about you, with bringing your own food, defending your eating habits, etc.

Wow!!!!
Congrats on your success. Even better in the face of all the verbal and emotional sabotage that is occuring!

I would tell them that you are simply maintaining your loss. Telling them you are going to lose more just adds fuel to the fire. They won't be able to distinguish another 5 lbs anyway.

Make it a complete non-issue by refusing to discuss it at all with any of them any more. Ask your bride to tell her mother to back off - it's none of her business anyway.

Good luck with your finishing touches!!!

I am guilty. I had a grad student who came to my seminars a few years ago who had been bordering obese. For health reasons she went on a strict diet of some sort (not Atkins) and lost weight very quickly...to me she looked like a deflated balloon and it did not look healthy at all..so I said something to that effect at the time.

Now I have lost 45 lbs myself, but it has a year and a half and I have been going to the gym throughout...I now look better than I have for years, and would like to lose more to be in a better body fat range, but am afraid that at age 63 and no longer having elastic skin, I too will get the deflated balloon look.......

Val

A good problem to have - congratulations!

I would have to say as someone who has also been fat his entire life that it's your body, only you know what you have been through to get it the way it is, and others will have to live with that.

There may be some point where you can lose too much weight, but you are clearly not to the point where you are slender to an unhealthy degree.

What a wonderful attitude you have. It is very difficult to have family members express negative opinions on something so terrific. My Mom in not supportive at all.....she cant tell me how fat I am anymore because I am doing something about it. She is a diabetic also and she always tells me my lower blood sugar is going to be a health problem. I tell her not as much of a problem as when my blood sugar was 330!! I am happy with this way of life and plan to continue forever. I hope you take the compliments you so richly deserve from the people here - your Atkins family !

I have seen this as a coming problem from day 1..of course I still have AGES to go before its IS a problem but I KNOW everyone will think I am anorexic...I already hear the snide comments from everyone around me... I have never ever weighed less than 180 so of course I will be shocking people... oooh and I cant wait to get there!


I am really happy for you to have made this great accomplishment!