Diemde, I'm going through that with my husband right now and I totally understand your concern and frustration. You want to help, you've given them the good info, and they know it works; but they just_won't_commit! It's like that old saying about how you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink - only mine is a stubborn mule!
Frank has about 30-40 lbs to lose, but more importantly, I'm concerned about the blood lipids and blood sugar. He's had the very high total & LDL cholesterol and triglycerides since his mid-30's (he's 54 now) and is currently on both Lipitor and Tricor because he's never gotten it under control. And now the blood sugar is getting up there too. Doc said, "This is very bad now and has gone on too long, so we're testing you every 3 months from here on in. Lose weight and exercise to get those #s down or you're going on diabetes meds. See you in 3 months."
After fiddling with the standard LF/LCal diets that left him irritable and ravenous but only 1 lb lighter, my desperate DH finally listened to me and tried to at least cut down on all the HC stuff. It was like a miracle - in the 2-1/2 weeks he had left before the last blood test, he lost 9 lbs and he felt like a new man - not always tired and dragged out (and not as grumpy). When they got the bloodwork results, all the high levels were significantly lowered and the HDL and cholesterol ratio were positive for a change, and his blood sugar was back in the normal range. (I don't have the numbers because the stubborn fool never asked for a transcript!) Doc was so impressed, he said we could wait 6 months for the next test. He asked Frank what he'd done, and Frank proudly told him he cut down (or out) bread, potatoes, pasta, rice etc. Doc asked him if he thought he could do that long term, and DH said sure, no problem. So everything is happy-happy...
The trouble is, Frank still sees this as something temporary that you do just in time for the bloodwork. He isn't eating as mindlessly as he was and that's a positive change, but he still grabs junky stuff now and then or makes huge sandwiches with plenty of meat and cheese. I've seen him go back and forth between avoiding the potatoes one day and scarfing down big plates of pasta the next night (I still have to cook for the other 3). Sometimes he'll do so good all day long and then end the day with a big bowl of (sugary) ice cream that he picked up "for the kids".
I've tried explaining that it's not a magic 2 week diet but that you do have change the WOE permanently, and you don't have to eat that other stuff because there are better alternatives - but I get the denial. "I've been careful, and I've watched what I've eaten for the last 3 weeks and haven't gained any weight back so I think I can have this one little indulgence without worrying too much." Of course then, the cravings kick in and the sugar goes wild, and then... well, you know what I mean.*SIGH*
They just don't
want to get it, and you can't force them to either. My DH and I have been married almost 21 years. He's a good and intelligent man, an excellent father and a hard worker, and he puts in many long hours supporting us, but he's determined to go his own way and
will not listen. I just have to step back and detach myself sometimes or I'll go
. And I worry that we'll lose him to some health complication down the road that we could still head off now, so it bothers me every time I see him abusing his body. But he probably looks at me with my 100+Lbs to lose and says, "Who are you to criticize me?"
Who indeed!
I guess we'll just have to lead by example, and keep offering the information, and hope they follow someday. Wish I could offer more help or comfort than that, but I'm pretty busy banging my head against the brick wall too.