Nah, there'd be all the police and coroner expenses, and no-one would be able to collect the insurance money. Of course, you are a linguistics expert, and master of efficient English. But this is doctorspeak. Even their handwriting is indecipherable.

I'm reminded of my first nursing job many, many years ago. The doctor came by as I was wheeling a cart laden with the supplies I needed to do my "morning care". She pointed to an "Attends" size XXXL.

"What's that?" she asked.

I held it up, and before I could utter a word, she exclaimed, "Oh, I see, it's an incontinence device for adults who are obese."

Good job I bit my tongue. I was going to say, "It's a fat diaper." So much for plain english.

Doreen