If you have lost a significant amount of weight, has your spouse/sig. other changed his/her attitude toward you at all? My husband is paying a lot more attention to me physically. In a way I don't know how to really deal with it. I think we settled into a comfortable routine (been married almost 10 years) and when I set out to lose this weight I never thought it would change how he treats me. Suddenly he is acting very much more affectionate . I guess I had hoped that he would be attracted to me no matter what my weight was but there is no denying he is a lot more attracted to me now b/c suddenly he's on me 24-7. I should like it but instead I'm annoyed b/c it feels like it is just out of no where and only b/c I'm thinner.

Men are a strange animal. I've lost 60 pounds now and I see my hubby looking and acting differently as well, if he's being annoying you need to let him know it bothers you. Tell him that if he wants to compliment you, say something nice, or cook dinner, etc. He may be feeling what I call "caveman syndrome" ugh...my woman...ugh....he may feel threatened that you're looking so good and he may have fears that you're going to find someone else to replace him...I think he just needs some reassurance that you still love him and only him....and the only way he knows to seek reassurance is with sex....just my thoughts...

I too have noticed my DH being more passionate than usual. Although our sex life had never slowed, even at my heaviest, it has certainly taken a leap in the "action" direction. Dh comliments me on how he can tell I am really losing. Do you think they are paying more attention because they are afraid that now that we have lost weight we may lose interest in them? I lost weight for me, not him. That was just an added attraction. ha But he did make me kind of roll my eyes last weekend. I told him when the summer work slows down and he is home, (he works road construction and has really long hours during construction time) he can star lcing with me. He said someone had told him that yes you lose weight on Atkins but as soon as you go off you gain all the wieght plus more back. I could not help myself, I said "Well, daaaahhhh.... if you follow weight watchers and quit and go back to your old eating habits you will gain it back. If you start exercising and lose weight and then quit and go back to being sedentary you will gain it back! I said I do not plan on quiting this WOL!" I love lcing. I made two homemade apple pies yesterday and I just have no cravings for the sweets or breads like I did during the first few weeks. I have been lcing since May and have only lost 23 lbs but I feel so good! I think getting rid of the sugar was the main thing. ANYWAY...back to your post.... maybe your DH simply does not have a way with words. He maybe did not mean for it to sound as piggish as it did. My DH is the king of lack of tack! As soon as something comes out of his mouth and he knows I am not taking it as he meant for me to take it he is stuttering to make me understand. We have been married for 27 years and like I said and we probably have sex and average of three times/week. but like I said, we never really slowed down in that area. Give the man a break. Unless you are having different feelings about him. Let me warn you about something, I have been through this. After losing about 70 pounds on phen phen I looked great, felt great and I loved all of the attention the men were giving me. Do not let it go to your head. Think of what you have built with your DH. He may be feeling that you may find someone else to take his place because he is insecure. Good luck and God Bless. Remember, forgive him, after all he is just a man! ha

I've noticed it too, so can sympathize. My dh would be a goner if he said something like that. I have only lost 35#'s so far, but the way he treats me is much different. It goes beyond sex, which was always good, albeit had slowed down from the 'bunny' stage of youth. We try new things *ahem* & the frequency has picked up. We also DO things together now - like riding the atv's. He actually sat next to me at the beach in my b athing suit. I have noticed these things and it hurt(s) to know he looked at me differently when I was heavier. Sometimes, I want to say something, but all that would do is start a fight. I take the extra attention now and try not to read into it - just enjoy it.

I sympathize though, and I would let your dh know the groping offends you. Good luck!

Feel the power! My husband married me when I was much heavier, but I still felt attractive, but now I am feeling more confident. I actually caught him "checking me out". I called him on it, laughing. He didn't even notice he had done it! That was very nice actually! If your husband is pushing it a little too far, he may just be unsure of what to do with his "new" wife. If not, and he is chasing you this much now.......you are in deep #~$t when you lose a few more pounds, better start running now!!!

I was going out the other night, and I was glammed up for the occasion of going out with the girls...lol..I walked down the stairs and he said "Omg you look so hot babe!" I stood there and said, hmmm...this is funny, you never say anything like that on an everyday basis( I always have a smile on my face), he said well you don`t dress like that for me!! Actually he had a point but it`s a vicious cycle when you`re in a relationship and we tend to take each other for granted. I realized that I don`t go out of my way( subconciously of course) to look good and glammed up for him because he stopped being that attentive partner that he was when we first met. It`s quite a shame actually, but it`s something that happens a lot. By nature men are visual beings and women are emotional beings and if we can meet up halfway , we`d be more in touch with each other, don`t you think? Just my thought of the day.

as a man I have to ask a few questions of you ladys?
You say your men are more agressive now? But did the men harp on you to loose or where they accepting and loving no matter how high the weight got?
I know at my heavyiest I let my appearance wane...
But when I lost 70lbs 2 years ago I was buying new clothes, changed my hair style, and I was horney as hell because I felt good!!!. My wifes weight flucuates all the time. When its up she does not feel sexy and even though I love her and she is my best freind sex wanes during those times. Its not that I dont want her as much its that her self esteem is lower and she is not as aproachable. During these times a well placed hug and a I love you mean 100 percent more than come on honey lets get it on............

Ladies and gentlemen, if you're losing weight, feeling more confident, looking more confident, feeling healthier and happier about yourself, people will notice those things in you as well! If your significant others, co workers, or even strangers look at you in a pleasing manner or compliment you on how wonderful you look, smile and accept it.

I know I do!

Hugs,
Shirley

Ditto!!! Couldn't have said it better myself Shirley. Maybe sometimes when we are not happy w/ ourselves, we just assume everyone else is just as unhappy w/ us. However, for me personally, I know when I started losing weight is what more of my attitude changing than his.

Enjoy the attention, and make the best out of it.

And I quote, "--the only time women ever succeed in losing weight is when they're single or fixing to dump you."

That is an excerpt from Men's Health magazine. No wonder some of you guys are worried!

This reminds me of what my aunt told my mom, "Everytime you lose weight, you also lose a husband." Makes you say, hmmmmmmmmm........

I totally understand feeling like your husband is "only" doing this because you lost weight, but I'd cut the guy a little slack if he's good to you in other ways, too. I know I'm feeling more happy about it because of my confidence, and that creates a nice feedback situation where my husband is more likely to pay attention, and I think it's great.
After all, as someone pointed out, didn't he love you before? And maybe got used to you being not so much in the mood because you didn't feel AND look as good as you do now?
I love guys, and guys are guys. I know I'm loved for my mind, but being loved for my body is not a bad thing either, because it's a part of me too.
A guy is ALWAYS going to think a pass is a compliment. Am I right, guys?
So it's really a nice thing, isn't it?

OK...I guess I feel the need to chime in on this topic. I totally agree with ian559 but I would go further.

What would you do in this scenario...and be totally honest! You lose whatever amount of weight you do/want and your hubby shows absolutely no response to this great achievement that is obviously very important and uplifting to you. How would that make you feel?

I know that if I never commented, initiated sex, or however I chose to communicate how great she is doing I would be in the doghouse for sure. It seems as if we are caught in that "catch 22"...If we comment and show affection now that you lost weight we must not have cared or loved you as much as when you where heavy...but if we say nothing and act no differently we must not be aware or notice our wives and therefor don't care.

C'mon...give the cavemen a break...urgh...uhm! You know how shallow and immature we are as humans.

Cody

I think we read men wrongly when it comes to this issue.

I honestly feel your hubbys are very proud of you, and when they see you and realize just how much your going thru it makes them happy to see you succeed, plus the fact your looking sexier and sexier to them, there's nothing wrong with this, it is quite normal. I'm sure no matter what they love you so don't read so deep into it or it can put stress on the marriage / relationship. Just enjoy.

So when they are hugging and touching you, squeeze them even harder back.

They are happy for you, and there's nothing wrong with a man feeling proud of his woman

My hubby is the same

My husband married me when I was at my heaviest. I know he is very proud of me, and he is more affectionate, and because I get home way after him he checks to see what I've been wearing for the day He's just silly.