Hi Alexxa, you sound really down on yourself. Give yourself a break. You should love yourself no matter what others think of you. You must be trying to change or you would not be here LCing right? We don't care what others think of us. If they cannot see the love and good inside you, then I feel sorry for them. My life came with Jesus. He is the reason I exist. Well you did ask right?
One good thing about being on this forum is you are not alone with your problems. Everyone is having some difficult part in their lives that need repaired. You can vent your feelings and feel free.
Here is a big ......((((((((HUG)))))))