Saccacrine, wow! on your 19+ weight loss since just this June! You must tell me your secret.

Now, on a little somber note:

Quote:

...it can be difficult to be supported when people don't know your "failings" or mishaps. it's often difficult to have a non-low-carb advocate understand and support someone who is devastated for consuming a slice of toast with jelly,

Me thinks you made a mistake if you were referring to us as "Non-Low-Carbers" isn't that a mistake? Anyone who has voiced an opinon about the "cheaters" are low carb advocates. THIS IS a low carb site. Did you get confused? If so, it's cool. You mentioned the "cheater's" devastation following the consumption of a restricted food and we should understand this? I beg to differ (politely) that they know that a piece of regular toast and a glass of milk is NOT a part of this lifestyle, so why do it? (you may refer to my previous reply). Please don't tell me it's snowing if I have dandruff on my collar.

The bottom line is they KNOW this is low carb, yet as I stated previously, people cheat for various reasons and some just get a kick out of playing "victim" role. "Look how you made me feel" or "Now you're being judgmental of me." If you know anything about shame-based behaviors, then you would be able to see some reason.

It's just too tiring trying to understand practiced mistakes.

I know I can avoid the posts about cheating, and I DO. I could avoid the whole site, but IMO it would be your guys' loss. The posts about cheating have increased dramatically, to the point, where I (and I feel I'm a good community member who helps people where I can) don't enjoy visiting anymore. I wanted to know if others felt the same way, and if there's a solution.

After all, this is not the "low carb CHEATER'S forum". My understanding is that this is the place for people following this way of life.

Just like if you are alcoholic, you don't go to an AA meeting or web-forum and say, I'm planning to go out and get wasted next Tuesday and then asking 'hmm think that's ok??'.

They don't tolerate that. (and the implied question is should we?)

The point is not about those who make mistakes and don't have anyone to support them for having toast with jelly and milk (but umm.. didn't they read anything about being LC first?.. but let's assume, still, it was a mistake..). I 'm talking about people who plan cheats and post that they are planning to cheat on X day or binge on Z day and then want support.

I can see why people try all this supposed cheating and since we live in a quick fix society it`s bound to come up.You have to think for yourselves and determine what is appropriate for you....

oh- linda- i think i misspoke. what i meant to say was that non-lo-carbers (family memebers or friends) - people outSIDE of this community, were probably less capable of understanding mentionings of "cheating," whereas within this community, it is understood, acceptable, and therefore a great outlet which is (and often should be, IMHO) used.
sorry for the confusion.

ps, thanks for the weight comment. lets me know im doing good.

You should go read the Love & Marriage forums.

Sam

smchan: Good weight loss there. Let me get this straight, 6/03 you were 253lbs. and 7/19 you were 224lbs. My goodness, that's 29lbs. in less than a month! Way to Go! What are ya, some kinda test-tube baby? That's pretty awesome.

I guess there is a lot of talk about cheating because a lot of people have problems with it. It isn't all about willpower or wanting attention or just not being commited enough. God! those sound like all the nasty things I hear skinny people say about fat people all the time behind their backs. I am surprised to hear it in here...

Alot of good opinions have been posted in this thread.
I agree that those who do cheat, do need to come here for support, what I don't agree with is Coddling those same people over and over again, at some point they have to realize they are not doing the diet/woe.
I also don't beleive that while giving support, sugar coating the problem is the right way to do it. After all the support is meant to be something to keep you on this way of eating, not helping one to justify what they have done.

Hope that makes sense.

Cheers Kathy

I think that everyone's experience with any "diet" is different, and there can be many triggers that set people off...that being said...this is a support forum...I can understand that if it is someone that does the "cheat regularily" it can perhaps be hard to be supportive, but then we don't have to answer every post we see do we.
Also, I am not sure that I can say that they are not commintted to this way of life...or WOE....sometimes we eat without knowing that we are eating...after all, we all wouldn't be here if we "behaved" ourselves, or weren't a little self indulgent for most of our lives.
And as for all the other addictions mentioned...you never have to put those things in your body...but we all HAVE to put food in our bodies...I myself have found it much easier to quit smoking after 20 some years, than any diet I have ever been on. If I could quit food the same way, it would be a breeze, but everyday, you put food in your mouth...and perhaps it makes others need or want other food...hard to say....
Anyway, just my take on the subject

More like 6 weeks (first of June thru mid-July) but who's counting?

I've also gone from 42 waist jeans to 38 and XXL shirt to XL.

Sam

well said kathy!

I certainly understand the need for support but I do agree with Saltnpeppa that it can get old hearing about it all the time. Especially from the same people. I do think there's a danger of making cheating seem acceptable and that doesn't help anyone.

But one request I would make is that the 'cheater' not go into all the details of the food. I know that when I'm trying really hard to eat clean, it's tough to read about people cheating, especially when they give all the details. It can start me craving just reading about all these goodies.

Amy

Personally, I take comfort from the idea others aren't perfect, and have their weak moments, too. In fact, reading about how sick someone got, or cheating and stalling is actually a reminder to me to NOT go there myself! (Man, that sounds selfish, but..)

I tend to skip threads that pertain to things that don't interest me. My least favorite posts are by people you suspect haven't done a bit of reading, and expect the moderators to basically provide ALL the information FOR them. (And to the moderators.. you have much more patience than I )

I just wish I'd found these boards a LONG time ago!

re: reading descriptions of cheating foods

I only went to one OA meeting, but I learned there that they don't let you mention the foods that will push you over. They may be trigger foods for other people as well.

I've had a hard week the last week, but I tried to confine my issues to the Confession Booth. I'm a little embarrassed about my postings there, but somehow "telling" others made me feel more accountable. And just "get over it" and "get on with it". I was proud (before this week) that my "cheats" were allowing myself a cup of coffee a day, and a diet pepsi every couple days.

I love this new WOE, and I'm about to celebrate 8 weeks (and should change my current weight - cause it's lower). I get so much out of this forum and these threads, that I want to give back in ways that are helpful (or at least not harmful). This thread has been enlightening.

Sarah