I wonder how may people have been treated different since changing their WOE.

A person that I thought was a good friend and neighbor turned on me two weeks ago. We both set weight loss goals back in January. We really did not discussed each others progress. My goal was to lose 50 lbs. and she was going to lose 25 lbs. by July. She is not overweight.

When my progress became pretty obvious (30 lbs.) she started getting resentful, demanding, and downright rude towards me. After I reached around the 30 lbs. mark she stated "I've noticed that you have lost weight and I guess you are trying to show me up". Then she asked me to ride with her to (of all places) Dairy Queen (my favorite place). When we got there she stated that she would treat me to whatever I wanted. I told her thanks and that it was getting late (9:00 p.m.) and that I would pass. She then proceeded to tell me that I was trying to rub it in that I had lost weight and was trying to make her look bad. To make a long story short, there have been many similar situations and I decided that this recent friendship (1 year) would not survive. Sad to say, after her last rude tirade two weeks ago, I have distance myself and have not talk to her.

Today, I had someone ask "when are you going to stop eating that way". My response was that I was eating healthy and was not interested in eating "chemically enhanced processed foods". I think people have a lot of nerve, especially when they smoke and are seriously overweight.

I make it a policy not to discuss my weight or eating habits in order to avoid situations like this. I use this board as a source of discussion.

I think when people see you accomplish a goal and tackle health issues it reminds them of what they are NOT doing.

Well, I am not intimidated, my success is not their failure. My success should be their hope (but that's the mature way of looking at it).

Okay, I have vented and feel better.

Vent all you want!

Your neighbor is jealous. Plain and simple. If she is going to get that out-of-hand just because you are losing faster than she is.... well, she needs to have a grown-up check.

Lately I don't have a problem telling people, when asked, how I have lost the weight. But I think I've developed that gleam in my eye that tells them... don't even try it. If they do, I'll debate with them, if I can tell that they will not even consider it, I just tell them I'll take their opnion under consderation. And I do... for about the 1 second, it takes to think "BAH".

We are with you, we KNOW that this life is healthy. We are pioneers, the rest of the world will turn around eventually.

Sorry to hear that your friend has let you down. She just doesnt understand and you shouldnt have to put up with that. Any of it. Its too bad, that ppl cant see that this is the most healthy and beneficial way to eat. I know that it is even though I havent lost much, but I do feel much better eating this way. I guess we just have to realize that ppl are not rightfully informed. And its too bad. Maybe one day, more ppl will realize its best for them too.
Isnt it nice to know that you have somewhere you can go, and everyone will understand what youre going thru, vent away!

Good luck to you, and keep up the GREAT attitude!

Shannon

I think your "freind" is a sad person and it may help to look at her that way. She would try to sabotage another persons success because she feels that bad about herself.

Just a perspective but if you show her pity instead of anger she may cut out this behavior.

You can't change anyone else, you can only change how you deal with other.

All the best and congrats on your great success!

People *can* and *will* act strange when you're losing weight and they're not, but would like to. A former friend of 10 yrs. claimed she was my biggest supporter in my whole WOL change. Funny, though, she was the only one who would question my ultimate goal and whether it was achievable, blah, blah, blah. Did I mention she was a former friend?

I hate saying that people will say and do things out of jealousy (I can't imagine anyone would be jealous of me), but I think that's what happens when you find something that works and they don't. They project all their feelings about failure on you and then subconsciously (or consciously) try to sabotage you.

Lisa's right, your friend (and my former friend) are sad. The best thing for us to do is move on and remain stedfast in our healthy and satisfying WOL. I don't know about you, but I thought I was finished w/this type of high school mentality long ago.

Nikki

A trip to Dairy Queen! OMG! Consider this - the woman obviously feels you are a strong person or she wouldn't go to such lengths to trip you up. How unfortunate that your strength intimidates her so.

Hang in there, girl. Your true friends will stand behind you.

Thanks to everyone for their replys.

We are both in our 40s and I wasn't letting my mind think that it was the green eyed monster. That is sooo high schoolish.

Now that she is not in my life, I actually feel more at peace (Not having to walk on eggshells). So that is a definate sign that we should not be friends. Oh well, I wish her the best.

I'm just catching the tail end of this post, so sorry if I'm taking it off topic...

I have had a problem with my MOTHER for years. As soon as I tell her I'm trying to lose weight, she'll back brownies or butter tarts (2 of my all time favourite, cannot-resist foods)! Or, she'll invite me over for dinner and make something totally inappropriate! And she knows it, too. I've come to the conclusion that she's had issues about her weight practically her whole life (lost 60 lbs in early 20's and never regained it) and I think is secretly proud that she's got 3 daughters and she's smaller than all of us. That's all I can think of. Anyway, my Mom moved about 500 miles away last July, and the only bright side to that is being able to work on losing weight without her trying to sabotage me!

I have to add here that in ALL other aspects of my life she is very, very supportive. I try to keep in mind that it's HER issue, not mine, and I have to ignore it and try not to let it hurt me.

Nicole

I'm beginning to wonder if we all have ONE of this type of person somewhere in our lives. I do also. When I'm 25 pounds overweight, they talk of me as "small", and why do I want to diet? I am more a member of the group being overweight.

I don't know. Human nature is so complex. We just have to do what is right for us and I guess never atrribute bad motives to others. (Unless it's painfully obvious, like the neighbor taking someone to dairy queen and making mean statements. Sheesh.)

Your friend needs to drive past the Dairy Queen and make a stop at the therapy store!

Wish I could say that this is really uncommon, but it's human nature. Sometimes it's the same people that tell us they wish us success that will turn around and in the next breath offer us cake.

In some cases it's just thoughtlessness. But I also believe that many people don't want to see others achieve their goals because it makes them feel bad by shining a big spotlight on what they haven't achieved.

Good for you for skipping the Dairy Queen and moving on from this "friend"...

Donald

igaligal7 - The good news is that you eliminated that harpy before she could undermine your WOE or hurt you in other ways. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt - but what a shrew!

I don't believe that this is just a jealousy issue. People are uncomfortable with change and that includes you changing yourself.

Everyone of us have people in our lives that have gotten use to us being overweight, and changing ourselves for the better means that they have to change all their attitudes and behaviors toward us. That doesn't mean they were bad before, just that they have to change them now. And some people are very uncomfortable with that.

Don't get me wrong. I think jealousy is a part of the problem. But I also think that people being forced to change their concept of you is also part of the problem.

I go with the jealousy issue. She in immature and like to be the center of everything. You are threatening her attention and that she does not like! It is her problem though, best to let her go her own way!

I have a friend who wasn't happy over my weight loss, but that is because I was her eating buddy . But I showed her, hey I can still eat! One week later she was so happy, she lost 10 pounds, just started Atkins! I was glad to see that I made such a good example! The only people who question my eating style and "worry" about me is my own family! We have a long history of being over weight and a history of competing with each other. Good thing I no longer live close to home.

My MIL will praise me for losing baby weight so quickly (my newest babe is 6 months) and say how great I look, then in the same breath ask me when I'm going to "stop eating that way" and/or get exasperated if we're out to eat and I don't eat the bread basket...it's so annoying.
People always seem to think of low-carb as a quick-fix instead of the way of life it's become for me. I truly think of refined carbs (especially sugar) as poison now and have no desire for them. So, it's like others feel threatened by that and they imagine that you're feeling superior or something. I've never once acted smug or any of that crud, like some of my vegetarian friends can act when we're out to eat ("Oh, I'd NEVER eat red meat! Don't you realize what domestic cattle are doing to the environment?" etc.). I only discuss my way of eating if I'm asked about it...I don't understand all the interest in what I'm putting in my body and all the hostility it can arise in people! It's really bizarre! My SIL (who is kind of heavy but not obese by any means) won't even talk to me anymore!! She told my DH that it bothers her how fast I lost the weight from this (my second) baby. How does that make any sense??

An insecure person will release negative remarks and actions when their security is threatened.

A single change can throw them into a tizzy. Not just weight loss, but even a new hairstyle or new car. They always seem to have to "one up" ya. I had a "friend" like this who went as far as to give me clothes because she swore they were too big for her and I know her butt was not in a size "12" like she said. Some things are just obvious. But she liked the fact that she was smaller than me and when the tables turned- she turned.

Oh well, there are bigger and better things awaiting for you!

Be blessed,
Tanya