as you all know im down 182 pounds as of today my i pass my goal of 150. it getting a bit annoying and fustarating when everytime i see someone they put me on display and they say oh my goodness she was so big! and it like gee thanks! it nice to know what you thought of me. Oh and a new thing for some reason or another my overweight friends treat me differnt too and in my mind i think im still the same but they treat me as if i don't know what it like and i do!!!!!!!!! i haven't forgotten and i never will. so many mix vibes from everyone even in my family. one min they are happy for me and the next it "oh you look sick" your too thin and the list go on. but boy did they love tellin me how i need to do something about my weight. you can not make anyone happy that for sure. even at 143 and i'm 5'8 im still dealing with the fact that it very hard for me to wrap my brain around this new girl clothing and all shopping i get paroind thinking someone thinking what the hell is she doing in the smalls or something when i know knowone probably paying any attention but still in my mind. lots of rewiring im have to do i guess to my mind. point you can fix the outside all day long but the mind is another thing all on it own. i still have a lot of 'fat' days and know one has any empathy for you cause they look at you and be like "oh please shut up your a size what two" so let see when you trade in your fat card you get a new card w/ new feelings are takes away rights to feel certain ways vs with my fat card i have other rights? yea it made not make sense to alot of people but it just how i feel when i view it. so now because i im not fat anymore i can't have bad days either i should be happy all the time well i must be a strange skinny person but i still have a lot of the same problems. i had at 323 pounds and it like noone in the world understands this. again it must be me.
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no sugar please i always perfer mines bitter*