Well I was done writing this long entry yesterday in my journal, and then I found out that I wasn't logged in, and it canceled the WHOLE THING...And I really didn't feel like writing it all over again.
I was also feeling Very defeated yesterday, so I think it did me a lot of good to just get it all out....
I was having a hard time because, like I explained in the very beginning, I am a person who likes to see results, and if there are none, I have areally hard time continuing on my path....
Well, after not CHEATING and not stepping on a scale for 3 days, I finally goo on the scale and was mortified to find out that I had GAINED a total of 5 pounds since my lowest documented weight on July 20th. Im sorry but I don't know if I can handle the "bounces" that come with this territory. I was really elated, and floating on air at my "low", but this last time I got on a scale, it was horrible...
I haven't gotten on a scale since. I am afraid to.
I keep thinking if it goes up 1 more pound I'm going to stop this program. That it seems ridiculous to keep depriving myself of things I love if the deprivation results in nothing. I hate to sound selfish, but I really did love my carbs....I feed them everyday to the rest of my family...I watch them eat and eat while I don't even have the appetite to choke down my small meal...and I am drinking so much water I feel like Im going to start floating....
but here I am again...a still dismayed and even more worried because of the horror stories about bloating back up again if you stop the diet...
If I bloat up now, I will weigh more than I did to start and this whole month will have been wasted...hence my discouragement.

anyway, enough complaining...

Any suggestions???