Over memorial day weekend we will be visiting with my MIL, (several states away) and I am concerned. It isn't really something we can back out of either.. my FIL passed away last year and this is the first time everyone can get together to take care of his ashes. Even if we could put this off, we will eventually be facing this problem.

I should probably explain a bit.. My MIL has a big house and is queen of her castle! DH & I along with our toddler always stay downstairs (we like the privacy), and DH's brother, SIL and 20 yr old niece stay in two rooms upstairs. My MIL is in her 70's and we have never really got along.. because of my weight. She has a *serious* fat phobia! And she is *constantly* telling me how, where, and why, to lose weight, all in the name of "caring" about us. She seems to think we must eat *tons* of horrible food.. and doesn't believe when we tell her otherwise. She is constantly sending me stuff from several very conservative medical newsletters about how to lose weight and cut fat from your diet. She cooks very lowfat (and horrible tasting) meals.. and fancies herself an amateur dietition. I think she believes that if I lose weight it will cause her son to lose as well.. and I believe she blames me for his recent diagnosis of diabetes. Dh has tried standing up to her several times, but she does the ol "But I just care about Susan's and your health". She probably does.. but she is sooo annoying! When I have lost 50+ lbs on other diets she has just said "well that's nice, but you have a long way to go." I think she picks more on me about it because she doesn't want a full blown blow up with her son. She got *really* upset when DH told her he ate a 10 oz steak for his birthday and has brought up how *bad* that was over and over again. I could go on and on but you probably understand the type. Yes, we could be more forceful and nasty.. but she is an old woman who has now lost her husband and she *adores* our son. I am terrible at confrontations, and my DH.. well, he is a wonderful husband, but not very forceful... actually he avoids very well.

Now back to the question... we have told her we are on a diet for DH's diabetes and she is *THRILLED*!! She says that maybe this has caused us to wake up.. well, in a way she is right, but I don't think this is the diet she has in mind! I personally think she is going to *freak out*! Well, that is upsetting but the real problem is how are we going to eat! MIL is queen of her kitchen, no one even helps to wash the dishes.. much less cooks there. She is also *very* much against eating out.. so all meals will probably be at the house. To even further complicate matters, we will be there with the entire family, including my niece who is a vegetarian (and no MIL doesn't really cook special for her either.. just more side veggies).

I know she is going to assume we will be on a lowfat, high carb diet.. I have asked DH to tell her more and recommend a book for her to read about the diet (any suggestions on the best one)? But I really don't know how we are going to deal if she totally disagrees and/or won't let us cook separate meals!

Any suggestions welcome.