Hi Guys,
Yes it's me again <sigh> I am not sure what I want to post here today as I feel so down and stupid anymore. I just can not get my rear off the ground, I know once I get my rear going Im okay but getting past the first few days just has not happened.

I started Low-carb back in November of 2000 and I was doing great till the holiday rolled around and kicked my butt! I had lost 45 or so pounds rather quickly (less than 2 months) then I gained back 35 <sigh> Then I went back on and off losing here gaining there but always seeing a downward number till I had managed 76 pounds lost. about September of 2001, then here came the holidays and lack of will and motivation. and the struggle continued on. a few days on a few days off and so on till I am sitting here today and its only 9:30 am and I have managed to eat a half pound of chocolates and feel like a monster

Last week I bought 10 pounds of Ribeyes , 5 pounds of Bacon and a case of kilbasa sausages (natural)

asked the kids to bring them in the house and put them in the fridge so I could vac-pack them and freeze in serving sizes...

went to the fridge day 1 and guess what THEY PUT THEM IN THE FREZEER!!! So now I have a 10 pound block of ribeye steaks UGH... so Off I went to eat what ever was around

I just feel like Im losing this battle very fast, and its not that I dont want this I want it more than anything, I can find a million excuses to just throw in the towel..

Like I dont even own a stove...
My Fridge is a piece of garbage and doesnt work right....
Money is a BIG issue....
LACK OF WILL....
and these are just a few....


I have limited mobility and limited resources but I want so despretley for this to work! But I guess like I know I HAVE TO MAKE IT WORK....

Okay I am done ranting... I am so unprepared and I have to get busy with this .....One meal at a time....


PS. Did I mention I used a hospital scale and it weighed me 50 pounds more than I was 2 months ago on the scale I have been using YIKES!!! Im so depressed!!!!