hey guys.

just got back from the doc's.

apparantly am suffering from clinical depression.

i have felt bad for awhile, but didn't realize it was THAT. i was so hoping
it wouldn't be that, that it was my thyroid.

but my thyroid is now normal for the first time in three years and now i AM suffering from depression.

and this time around i'm really feeling it. i feel so hopeless about getting this weight off. life just doesn't seem...interesting any longer. i'm job hunting(i currently have a job but they're cutting down hours majorly).

i'm in school making a 4.0. i didn't think i was depressed but that explains the no energy sad feelilng all the time.

i'm thrilled that my thyroid is corrected, but am still just majorly lacking energy and am just...sad.

i have been focusing the last week on cutting out carbs because i feel it's half the problem. praise god i have kept the 40 pounds off i lost during the binges! i feel so lucky.

but i just...don't care about my weight any more. i'm tired of messing with it but at the same time i know i won't just let myself go because i hated being 200lbs and it's much better here at 165.

but i just don't have the energy and just don't care any more.

i'm on lexapro and i'm starting counseling within the next two weeks, but until then, any advice? i'm considering spending the day playing my guitar, going to the gym and swimming. i think that'll get my mind off of wanting to order a pizza and gorge my face with it.

i have always used food as my comfort and i know that it's not a help. i'm looking for other activities to get my mind off food. because wether i care about my weight or not i know binging on food won't solve problems.

what do you guys think? i have gotten great support here in the past, and i thank everyone who has stopped by my journal or anwered my posts. i'd be so thankful for help this time around too. and if anyone needs to vent, feel free to stop by my journal as well. i'd be happy to help if i can.

thanks so much guys.