First let me introduce myself. I am Cassandra. I'm 21 years old and have been living with my boyfriend in California for over two years. I moved to California to be with him, and when I did my entire lifestyle changed. I have no friends and no family here. Just him.


When I first got here I was 10 lbs overweight. I was 5'2" and weighed about 136 or so. Now two years later I'm 5'2" and 218 lbs. I'm depressed. I refuse to shop for clothes, and everytime I look in my closet and see the clothes I USED to wear.. I start to cry. My lifestyle changed when I moved in with him. I went from going out and dancing every single night of the week, taking long walks and exercising with my mother, to sitting at home all day long not doing a thing. I didn't have a car and I didn't go out because the area was completely unfamiliar to me.


Now, I have car, and I have a job. I also have almost 100 extra lbs on my body. I am experiencing back and knee pains. My self esteem is at its lowest point ever in my ENTIRE life. I can't run or dance like I used to and I won't even try. I am SO ashamed of what I let happen to myself.


My boyfriend and I got memberships at 24 hour fitness together. I even got a personal trainer. I mentioned the Atkins diet to him, and he said it was unhealthy and I should just lose weight the 'right' way. I tried working with him, and working out 6 days a week. It didn't work for me. I was ashamed to go up there and work in front of people. I didn't like the way I looked and I didn't want people to see 'the fat girl' trying and struggling to lose weight. I tried that whole thing for 2 weeks and lost 1 lb. I gave up, even though I still have a membership.

Craig wants me to lose weight. He has told me that he isn't happy with my appearance and has been on me about exercising. Because of what my trainer said, he doesn't think the Atkins diet is healthy and won't be supportive of me attempting. It upsets me, but it won't stop me.

I am FED UP with not liking myself. I am TIRED of looking at my body and wanting to cry and thinking "this is so gross". The only way I can lose weight is to see results. If it doesn't happen quick I will get discouraged.

I need some form of encouragement, and I know he won't give it to me. I am tired of the tears and of being ashamed. I want to start this today. No, I AM starting this today.


I will be keeping a journal, and exercising while making this life style change. As incentive to keep myself going - for every 15 lbs I lose I am going to by myself a new outfit. I will be taking before and after pictures as well.

Now, here is my problem. I am ADDICTED to pasta. I'm not a big meat eater and love to eat pasta and loads of veggies. I also dislike cooking, and do it as little as possible.

Any suggestions you have to remedy that I'll gladly listen to, and THANK you for listening to me.