My only guidance is this. It seems to me that you have decided already to make a change and are now just deciding to what extent and how to go about making that change.

I will borrow a page from my work with the homeless. I see people trying to make change in their lives everyday, the ones that fail are the ones who were reacting not to how things really ARE, but to how they think it OUGHT to be. You know your family best. Make sure that, whatever change you make, it fits the way your family REALLY IS.