Fri, Jun-06-03, 21:38
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New Member
Posts: 24
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Plan: Atkins
Stats: 187/178.5/145
BF:28 (goal <24)
Progress: 20%
Location: Pacific Northwest
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Sometimes evil, sometimes not
It is really frustrating to have someone offer me something that I, in the old days, would have accepted in a second. I think there are at least two reasons why people who know us and what we're trying to change about our diet would tempt us that way.
One reason is that they're motivated for some reason to sabotage us. Taking control of what we put in our mouths does mean that we are in control of some portion of our lives and therefore not under someone else's influence. That might be threatening to some people who feel that we're upsetting some sort of social balance.
The other reason is more benign. Like it or not, food is part of our culture. When people come to our houses, we tend to say things like, "Have a seat. Can I get you something?" We offer food. The first refusal is the polite way of saying, "Don't go to any trouble on my account." The second offer of food is the host's way of saying, "I value you. You're worth the trouble." Sometimes they'll even give us an excuse to take the offered food: "Oh, these are left over from ... If you don't eat them, they'll just be thrown out..." Throwing out food was a sin in my family, so that's akin to saying that you _have_ to eat something.
Anyway, I've found that saying, "You are sooooo nice to offer, but I really can't eat that anymore", usually works well enough. It satisfies the giver's need to not feel guilty about eating in front of you and acknowledges the friendship that sharing food often indicates.
GG
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