Ok guys, I need to vent! Here it is Christmas Eve, a night of good will to all and my fiance says "you look bloated in that shirt." Aghhhh!!!! I can't believe he said that. It was just today a coworker said I looked like I was losing weight, but apparently my fiance thinks I'm FAT. Don't get me wrong, generally he is very supportive and even makes me a low carb lunch everyday for work, but why did he have to say that. I am so sensitive. We're suppose to be going to my mother's tonight to celebrate the holiday, but I was so disgusted I stripped off my clothes and put on my nightshirt. I know I still have to go, but how can I enjoy myself feeling FAT. Everyone will be eating what they want and I'll be depressed. I hate that I have to be the one to have to always think what goes in my mouth. All I have to do is think of food and I gained 20lbs. And of course after his comment, I'll think nothing looks good on me and makes me look fat and wont be able to dress myself before Xmas Eve gathering

Hi Gaily!

It's a shame that your fiance' said such a thoughtless thing, but in all honesty, you're giving him an awful lot of power and control over your emotions and how you feel. You can't control what comes out of other people's mouths, but it's up to you how you respond to it.
Everyone's entitled to feel sorry for themselves from time to time, but don't let someone else's careless comment ruin your holiday for you.
It's easy to feel deprived when you start thinking in terms of what you can't have, how about turning it around and thinking instead of all the things that you can have that everyone who is watching their fat intake would shudder to even get close to their mouths like prime rib, real butter, real cheese, veggies smothered in butter or cheese sauce, bacon, sausage, real salad dressing (not that fake low fat stuff..yuck!) and the list goes on and on.
Yup...I agree it sucks to be overweight and have to not eat certain foods to get that scale to move downward, but it looks like you've made great progress so far and you should be proud of what you've already accomplished.
Go find something in your closet that you like to wear and that you feel looks good on you and have a fun evening.

Ditto to everything Lisa said.

I'm sorry your feelings got hurt but brush yourself off and pick yourself up. Just remember men say things without choosing their words wisely - that's why wives roll their eyes all the time !

When you go to the get together - remember how fat and gross you felt when you overate carbs in the past (at least I did). Concentrate on all the delicious things you can eat. Nothing taste as good as being thin feels and isn't it fun getting thin eating the yummy things that we're allowed!

Have a blast over the holiday!

Trust in how you feel
Tell your fiance that it was wrong for him to say and that you feel proud of what you've done on this lifestyle! Show the world you.
the beautiful and healthy you!

I hope you went SHOPPING and bought a gorgeous expensive shirt to wear.

On a more serious note, I'm currently unmarried and think alot about what is and isn't acceptable to me when it comes to conversations about weight (when I am in a future relationship). I would hope it's a non-issue...

Yet, I had a discussion with a male friend the other day, and he made a comment about the woman he likes, and he said he wondered if she was too sensitive about things (not weight issues). His comment to me was "You can't have thin skin in a marriage." I think now he's right. We will do our best not to hurt the other person, and occasionally say something wrong or stupid.

Your fiance sounds very supportive of you, making lunches and all. He was probably also being supportive by telling you that probably wasn't the best shirt to wear. Okay, so he could have said it in a different way....but heck, that's when the thick skin is needed. If you lost it and got pissy about it, maybe you can explain it away today, feel the support from him again, and be strong on your WOE.

I hope you were able to enjoy your holiday event with family and friends and your fiance.

You need to "TRAIN" him... if you plan to marry this man. He must understand that you don't say things like that ... even if well intentioned... it is hurtful. My DH learned along time ago, to understand that there are certain things he should refrain from saying... one of which is on WEIGHT. He has figured out the "THUMPER" motto:

"if you can't say something nice... don't say nothin at all!"

I agree; you need to train him. I successfully trained my husband to no longer say, "Is that what you're wearing?" while I'm on the way out the door and have no time to change. Men just don't understand why women are sensitive to comments like that!

On the positive note, the fact that he thought the shirt made you looked bloated means that he doesn't think you normally look bloated -- he thought it was the shirt! You can take that as a compliment; he may even have meant it as one.

There have been all kinds of studies by linguists discussing how men and women interpret the same statement differently. I know that I sometimes say things that I don't at all intend as criticisms, but my husband interprets them that way.

Gaily, I hope you got through the evening okay, and I'm sure you wore something that looked perfectly fine and attractive on you.

Today, start new...I'm sure your fiance will choose his words more carefully today after seeing your reaction. But I hope you were able to tell him in words how negative a statement that was...and how it made you feel. Just my two cents, but don't let your reaction "train" him...make it a heart to heart conversation when the time is right.

But today...Merry Christmas...hope you got all you asked for from Santa!!

Thanks guys for all your support. You all put things into perspective for me and we actually had a very nice Christmas Eve. And you'll all be happy to know that I stayed on track and actually lost 1lb between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I even went to the gym Xmas Eve morning and today, so I didn't go off my exercise plan either. Thanks again.
Gaily

Glad to hear you recovered from the comment and stayed on track. You might also consider that guys don't always mean things in quite the way we take them. Soon you won't look "bloated" in any of your clothes. You can bet he will notice that! Good Luck and keep in truckin'.

Cindy

And you're at that crucial "199" --- jeeze, don't you just want to see it drop another 2 or 3 pounds just to make sure it sticks???

I remember getting that scale to UNDER 200...boy what a feeling!