I need a plan on how to deal with my mother and the food in her house while I'm visiting next week. I know she will have candy and junk food in the house for my kids. Now I've already talked to my kids about it. Any advice would be helpful! I tend to get angry with my mother when she brings bagels, muffins and donughts home "just for me", when she absolutely knows that I am LCing. I know I can't change her, and I don't want to fight with her and be resentful. So...I need to change the way I react. I need a plan, a stradegy!! any suggestions?

DuPont - we're talking about long established patterns of interaction between you and your mom and those are hard to break. FWIW its usually best to be direct...

Confront her on the issue before you go. I don't mean start yelling "Mom I hate it when you..." (or "Mom, if you loved me you would remember/understand and not try to sabotage me like this") but just make some really clear I-statements such as "Mom, I know that you are trying to look after me by bringing me foods you know that I love, but I really need your support in helping me with meeting my goal of losing weight." Then suggest an alternative such as "Can I send you a list of foods it would be helpful to have in the house so I can stick to my new way of eating?" or "Perhaps we could go grocery shopping together when I get there?" Don't expect her to be happy about this...but as long as you are clear, unemotional and firm she's not going to have a choice but to accept that you've taken a stand.

Good luck,

Lisa

I really know how you feel, I deal with exactly the same thing when I visit my Mother in law. What makes I worse is this is totally the pattern for my visits (over eating and high carb treats that is) and Ma is famous for her baking and she's justifiably proud of it. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I know the dynamic must be different with your real mother but when I visited…

I took food for at least one natural (trust me, no protein powder on this occasion), low carb meal, saying it was the least I could do and letting her know I was just showing appreciation for hospitality.

I brought macadamia nuts to share but mostly as a decoy snack I could reach for when everyone else grabbed a handful of cookies.

I was very low-key about my choices, I didn't make a big deal about not eating the stuff, I even said the biscuits were lovely but I was just too full…

Eating is sooo emotional for me I try and diffuse these situations rather than confront them, that's certainly not how a lot of people might approach it.

Hi Tammy - I agree with all of those techniques as well and was going to suggest a few but figured I would be remiss not to mention the obvious say-how-you-feel approach.

Good suggestions!

Lisa

Boy I think we all have this problem

Last Christmas my dear mother made her homemade candies and baked goods like she normally does. She wanted everyone to try them and noticed I wasn't.

I simply told her that at that point I had lost 35 pounds and hadn't touched sugar in 8 months and I was truely afraid it would make me sick to my stomach and ruin the rest of the day for us. She was a bit hurt, but now when I go visit she asks how much I have lost (50 pounds now ) and cheers me on. She fixes breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage and for lunch and dinners we have salads and chicken or something with fresh veggies out of her garden. She has even gone low carb

I think it just takes sitting down with mom and having a heart to heart with her and making her understand how important it is to you to lose weight so you will be around for your kids instead of dying from diabetes or heart failure from being over weight.

Be honest and open and non confrontational.