http://www.boston.com/news/globe/li...the_carbezoids/
Attack of the Carbezoids
By Alex Beam, Globe Columnist | May 20, 2004
A few weeks ago I was in Florida, where I first heard the plaintive cries of the orange growers. The Florida Department of Citrus had just launched a national advertising campaign extolling the virtues of drinking OJ. Why? Because consumption has decreased about 5 percent in the past three years, as a morning glass of juice is a major no-no for the Atkins Diet and South Beach Diet Low-Carbezoids who currently hold sway over the nation's eating habits.
There is an amusing game being played out across the country: Atkins ate my industry. The potato growers have joined their voices in the whiners' choir, as have beer manufacturers. Anheuser-Busch took out full-page ads in 31 newspapers last month, taking issue with the anti-beer claims of the South Beach Diet. Earlier this month, the maker of Ronzoni pasta, likewise proscribed by the 'zoids, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.
Even the people who make Krispy Kreme doughnuts blamed depressed earnings on low-carb mania, though why anyone -- other than physically overtaxed policemen, that is -- eats doughnuts is beyond me.
With the exception of the doughnuts, what do all these foods have in common? None of them is the least bit bad for you. Sure, too many beers, too many french fries, and 10 servings of orange juice a day make for a bad diet. But it's ironic, to say the least, that Americans are turning away from perfectly healthful food groups just so some quack nutritionists and diet docs can sell books.
Forget for a moment that these diets are not very healthful for you and that in the long run they don't work. In other words, forget that you read in Tuesday's newspaper that "Studies Say Atkins Diet a Short-Term Fix." Forget for a moment that Americans of all ages are becoming more overweight each year. How do Americans respond to the collective "crisis" in national eating habits? Not by changing their behavior, but by consuming more.
It's supply-side consumerism. Instead of quitting smoking, people buy light cigarettes. They delude themselves into thinking they are smoking "less" and end up pretty much where they started. Alcoholics suck down light beers, and now the Carbezoids are creating new products for their gullible public. You've seen low-carb beer, even the low-carb Whopper from Burger King. Now both Tropicana and Minute Maid are feverishly reformulating orange juice to pass muster with the Atkins/
South Beach diet police. They are replacing orange juice's natural fructose with Splenda, an artificial sweetener. You can draw your own conclusions. While I was working on this column, two press releases drifted into my "in" box. Florida-based Bravo! Foods is announcing a "new line of milk products . . . offering fewer carbs, less sugar and more vitamins." One of the novelties is a Moon Pie-flavored, 1 percent milk product. Moon Pie, a Southern delicacy, is a legendary "graham-like cracker, marshmallow covered with chocolate, vanilla, or banana flavors," according to moon
pie.com. The second release came from Perry's Ice Cream Company of Buffalo, hyping a new line of low-carb ice cream. I sent a one word e-mail: "Yuck," to which they were astute enough not to respond.
Here is a brief, true parable. A few months ago, I bumped into an old acquaintance who looked remarkably slimmer than when I had last seen him. In fact, he had lost 18 pounds. Ever the gentleman, I politely asked how he had done it and braced myself for the inevitable, tedious onslaught of Lowcarbo-prop. "You know what?" he replied. "I just decided to stop eating like a pig."
It worked for him. It could work for the rest of us, too.
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Oh, give me a break. Will these reporters ever do their research. It just baffles me that they can write about something they really don't understand and get away with it. Where are the editors?!!!
"Attack of the Carbezoids"
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