Over the past 5 years, I have been to a slew (6) of psychiatrists and psychologists all of whom have not helped. The first I saw convinced me to end any relationship with my birth mother (something I have since mended) and told me that if I didn't force myself to have sex with my husband, I would lose him. The next one was my favorite but after a point, he told me that I needed a woman to talk to and sent me to a cold fish. One put me on mild schizophrenia drugs that made me hallucinate things in the shadows and another put me on anger meds that gave me tracers. The last one made me repeat everything I said and I finally got really sick of that. I am sick of repeating my life story to these nuts. After working in the psych field, I don't trust them too much.
So, here it is.
My husband and I have not had sex for over three years now. I am to blame. I am 30 and have zero sex drive. My ob/gyn says there is nothing to do about it. What do you think? I am not too thrilled about the thought of forcing myself to have sex.

Every year, someone in my family has died for the past 6 years beginning with my father.

I have a 5 yr old and a 4 yr old, both boys.

Also, I am fat and miserable in my body. I am trying to take care of that, but I just feel like everyone stares at the fat girl. I am hyper conscious about it when my limp is worse. It is from degenerative disk disease and ruptured disks get inflamed and put pressure on nerves that go to my legs and cause a limp. At times it is worse than others but some a** always points it out for me.
My marriage is failing. I think I should leave my husband and kids and I think they would be better of without me. My kids need someone who is more stable than I am and my husband needs someone other than me.
Tomorrow, I will contact drs to see if any of them can just give me a medication to numb who I am. I don't want to work anything out. I hate who I am and want to just numb myself.