Hi all!

I hope everyone is doing well with their LCing! I had another great day...no cheats...gave away (lent) my scale to a friend, so it is no longer here calling my name!

I just have a few questions/comments...
I have been following this WOL for about a month now (and I have seen amazing results so far!), and a few of my closest friends are also trying to convert to this WOE as well. One of them is doing really well, although had a setback as she stepped on the scale for the first time after 2 months of LCing and didn't see what she had expected, or hoped for (although she had no idea what her start weight was, so her old clothes being way too big is the only way she knows it is working). In my opinion it wasn't a setback, just a disappointment. Another one is flip flopping back and forth (between LC and "other") and not seeing much in the way of results, because of all the negative feedback she is getting about this WOE. Yet another friend feels that the Canada Food Guide is the only healthy way to eat (the pyramid, which to me seems upside down), although she followed a modified BFL plan for a while and is looking great.

I look here for support, and always get it..thanks everyone! The problem being that I find that this WOL is all I ever get to talk about anymore. I feel that I am becoming obsessed with the weight and WOE issue, and it is great that I get to share experiences and advice with friends, but it is very frustrating that we never seem to talk about anything else anymore. This is probably not the case with others here who are doing this on their own...and believe it or not, I envy you some days.

The friend who has been on this WOE for 2 months now, in my inexperienced opinion, is not getting enough: 1. food, 2. vegetables, and 3. supplements (in fact none at all), and I really worry about her long term health. The one that is flip-flopping, I worry about her being too negative about her results because, since she cheats a fair bit, and doesn't know too much about the WOL (although she read Atkins, more or less the juicy parts though) I fear that she will be soured on the idea, and I will not hear the end of it...she tends to give up pretty easily some times. And she definitely isn't seeing the results that she could be. If the first friend ends up unhealthy I REALLY don't want to have the two of them gang up on me to tell me how wrong it is. The other friend looks great, mainly to do with her exercise habits, and her eating habits aren't that bad either, although she does consume a fair amount of breads, etc. I try to give constructive advice, but no one seems to listen.

I feel that I have to be "obsessed" to a certain extent to keep myself motivated...and trust me I almost never crave anymore...but does anyone have any ideas on how I can "help" my friends to understand more fully this WOL so that we can stop talking about it ALL THE TIME and my life can return to some form of normalcy? I am so tired of talking about my weight and what I ate all the time...don't get me wrong, here is where I want to vent that sort of stuff, because I can track my progress and others can learn from my experiences...It's like I feel great about my progress and what I am doing, and then by the end of the day I just feel overloaded, and just wish I had never told anyone about it.

I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!!!!

Sorry, had to vent...I apologize for the length...if anyone actually made it all the way through.

Happy LCing everyone! Someday the whole weight issue will be a distant memory and I can put all this "obsessing" to rest for good and just maintain.

KC

I think it is great that you told your friends and they are trying it. But that is where it ends for you

You are not responsible for their results, nor their eating habits, or anything else for that matter. You and you alone are responsible for yourself. They are responsible for themselves. If they do not follow the diet and not get the results you are getting point that out. If your friend isn't eating correctly the most you can do is say hey! page 1234 said that we need to eat more of this kind of food, what do you think?

Do not beat yourself up over what they do and concentrate on your self and your well being and health.

Being a mentor in these forums I know how you feel. The most I can do is offer advice to those that ask. They chose to follow it or throw it away. If they chose not to follow it, then it wouldn't do me any good to stress out. (I think I would end up with an ulcer if I did) Best I can do is smile and keep offering experience and advice to those that listen.

I know what you mean about obsessing about it a bit - I find that it is pretty easy for me to get dragged into long discussions about it (and "dragged" is hardly the right word). I have noticed that as I approach the three month mark that I am less apt to this type of behavior - I imagine that this is primarily due to the novelty of it wearing off a bit and with the fact that I don't have to convince others as a way of bolstering by own convictions.

As for your friends, Cat pretty well summed it up - you are not and cannot be responsible for their success or failure. If they give up or do poorly, then the best you can hope for is your ultimate success to act as future motivation for them to try again.

And, BTW, I actually made it all the way through.

Cheers and Keep the Faith!

After being on this for a while, the obsession tends to fade. Part of it is feeling comfy with what you are doing. When it becomes a normal way of eating, on a longer term, the obsession seems to go away.

As for your friends, Cat and wbahn have it right. You are only responsible for yourself. People hear what they want, understand what they want, and do what they want. Don't take on their responsibilities. You have enough to deal with keeping yourself on plan.

It's probably harder, because these are your friends..you know them personally. But think about this...how many posts have you read here from people who are winging it and then grumbling that they are having problems, while not willing to stick to the plans as they are laid out in the books. Do you personally take on the responsibility of setting them straight? People come and go on this journey. Some people get it right. Some people just don't get it. There is only so much advice that can be dispensed.

Let your results speak for themselves.

(ps, after 6 months on this, when people notice my weight change, I no longer feel compelled to say I am dieting. I say that I am eating healthier and have cut out junk food and leave it at that. This is not a lie, and it's all the info that people need.)

After an initial discussion on the subject of "Low Carbing", If my friends are interested or are in need of following this way of eating, then I give them a copy of Protein Power, if they are clearly diabetic or pre diabetic I give them a copy of Dr Bernstein" Diabetes Solution.
I get them from half dot com and consider it a small investment to potentially prolong the life of my friends....
If the program takes root with them then I help, if not then that is the end of the discussion.
Usually it takes, especially as they find all of the other benefits to their health ie no indigestion, no sleepiness, more energy less infections etc etc

I know what you mean about obsession. My husband calls me a fanatic, in a joking manner. Now, I haven't been living the life of a low carb fanatic lately, but find that my beliefs are still so. I just handed out this web address to someone I met yesterday who was complaining about back pain from the weight she's added. I didn't go into details but said I was a mentor on a site that helps people make low carb food choices, the site was free and very supportive. I try to not push but when I hear someone I speak up I make my experience known. (And I used to be very shy and not talk to someone I don't know very much.)

I have been inspired by the changes I've experienced and need to share with others upon occasion. Perhaps the fanatical part is when I mention someone (like my sister, whose weight has crept up, is having constant fatigue and other health problems) and say that the problem with them is too many carbs!

Low carbing, to me, has become a truth---almost philisophical in nature that needs to be declaimed (is that the right word?) to the world against the media and modern medicine as a viable option for many people.

I don't feel it's my personal responsibility to convert the world, but my family, friends, and even strangers who I think I can help if they ask for it.

Maybe I am a fanatic...so be it.


Beth

Way to go, Beth.

I find myself becoming more and more like that as well.

BTW: I think the word you were looking for might have been "proclaimed".

Cheers!

Wbahn....I know what you mean about getting "dragged" into long conversations about low carbing. There's now a group of us where I work who are following low carb (although, I was the first) and we often wind up having discussions about how much weight we've lost (where is that whoosh fairy this week??), a new low carb product we've tried or how much our families and doctors think we have lost our minds eating this way. It's interesting...the more weight we loose, the more people ask what we are doing and join us. I'm now even getting people referred to me by friends and relatives who know what this WOL has done for me and know someone who is struggling with weight and health issues, so they tell them about me and get us in touch with each other. Once I've told someone about low carb, though, the responsibility ends there. I give them the references and information that they need to be sucessful with this WOL and I'm always willing to offer advice and tips, but being successful is up to them.

Yeah, that's pretty much my attitude. I'll talk to anyone at any length the first time (and I don't bring up the subject but don't mind the discussion moving in that direction like I once did) but after that if they want to further discuss it they have to bring it up. I've got a few people that are checking out some books, but I'm going to even inquire if they have found any information. I figure if they have and are still interested, they'll mention it. If they are having trouble finding information, they'll mention it. If they have opted against trying it then they won't mention it and they probably wouldn't like me mentioning it and my mentioning would make them uncomfortable and would have no impact anyway. So why mention it?