Okay, my kids have no problem with their weight. In fact, they could stand to gain some weight, especially put on some muscle.

My wife, on the other hand, looks like heck and she's getting worse. People mistake her for being pregnant.

I exercise three days on and one day off using Crossfit exercises (http://crossfit.com). I train Brazilian Jiu Jitsu four to five days a week. I got off the low carb dieting and put on some serious weight again. I'm back to the Indcution phase and I'm taking the pounds off again. UGGHHH, why did I stop?!?

Anyway, for some reason, even though I'm living proof that exericse and diet works, my wife just doesn't get it. Yet, she constantly complains about her weight. She tries to give me the excuse of being 44 and I'm 34 so that's why she's getting fat. But, her sitting at the computer, TV, and dining room table while not getting outside and walking the dog sure doesn't help either.

Have any of you found ways to get your spouse who could really use a diet to come along with you on the journey???

The only reason why I want the kids to get on the wagon is so they don't think of Pop Tarts as a reasonable breakfast.

Thanks,

Kris

Maybe she will join you if she sees it working, but maybe not, the thing is that most people resent it if you try to change them, even if it is for their own good. The kids are young, so perhaps you can teach them by example.

Hi Kbkris,

I'm in a similar situation, my dh is worse than I but he just doesn't seem to want to join my obviously successful diet. Even though he has a gym membership he rarely goes, complaining about the time factor, but has no trouble spending hours in front of the tv every day.

Yes it's frustrating isn't it? But I learned long ago that carbs are for many people an addiction just like alcohol. You have to look at it that way or your WOE will eventually fail. In that same vein, somebody else who is addicted can't be cajoled, pressured, nagged or otherwise forced into a plan until THEY are ready. In addiction terms it's like you have to hit whatever personal rock bottom is for you before you want to change. Nothing that loved ones say or do will make it happen quicker.

In short, it's impossible to change anybody else. But, we can be the great example for them to follow once they decide that they are ready for a change. How lucky your wife is that she has you to guide her toward low carb instead of low fat when she finally hits her rock bottom someday.

As for your kids, I dont' know which of you cooks and prepares their meals more often, but you could try to take a greater role in planning and cooking from now on just to be sure they're getting healthy foods. Thank God that I have 80% of the cooking in our house or it would end up just like you said, pop tarts for breakfast 5 days a week! Yes my dh does bring home junk and cook carby stuff for them on occasion but thankfully I'm in charge of their diet more.

Unfortunately, I think pushing your wife towards dieting may just make the problem worse.

When I first started putting on weight my ex informed me I was getting fat, which he probably meant as a helpful statement (ex or not, he was a decent person) but I took it the wrong way, so my attitude was "I'll be as fat as I want to be!" (Have I mentioned I'm an idiot sometimes? )

It took until I hit my personal breaking point to *want* to change. People can be pushed into going through the motions, but they're not going to change unless they have some want in them.

Hopefully your success will inspire her to want to change as well, and when she does you'll be there to help her on her way.

I wonder what you tell your wife. I wonder if she is suffering from depression, low self esteem? That is so mean saying she looks like Heck, and looks PG. I don't even want to share my feeling here...And you think your kids need muscles? Let them be kids, and don't mess with there self-esteem

I would never tell my wife that she looks like heck or anything like that. I mentioned it here because I'm concerned.

Others have said she looks pregnant not me. I'm sorry if this post offended you. I was simply looking for advice. I'm not some evil husband / father who wants to bash my wife and kids.

Thanks to the others who didn't see this post as me bashing my family and actually gave me advice.

That's good.
I don't know how many children you have or if she works outside the home, but being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had along with keeping up the house, etc. I had 7 years off and now, with 5 children, I am back at work 3 nights on the midnight shift.

I have looked pregnant also when I was not and have had people ask me when the baby was due. I would say to just try to help her out in other ways, such as some housework, or take the kids someplace or offer for her to go out for a while, like an afternoon, so she can have some recollected time. Also, arranging a babysitter so that you can get out together on a date, which does not have to be expensive. It sounds like with all of your interests, that you may be gone from home a bit. She probably misses you.

Those are the things that I would and would have appreciated being a working and stay at home mom. If she feels your support (maybe she already does), she may be more likely to come around. I know I have felt it next to impossible to exercise with no one to really keep an eye on the little ones.

My dh is 10 years older than me. She may feel too "old" for you or something.

Good luck!

Thanks.

What is dh?

DH=dear husband

Got it.

For the record:

When I work out, I work out at home so I'm not gone during that time. When I do BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu), it's either right after work in the morning (I work midnight shift) or in the afternoon, with the kids.

My wife is a stay-at-home mother. I know her job is rough and try to help. I'm sure I can do more, but I also put in 60 hours a week at work.

Hi KBkris,

I happen to be 7 years older than my soon to be husband. We have been together 6 years and have a toddler and a baby.

As I gained weight with quitting smoking and two pregnancies my self confidence plummeted, and Chris being younger than me, the local tennis and squash champ AND gorgous just did not help matters at all, lol.

I had to want to get up of my bum and start fixing this, and Chris has been sympathetic, supportive and never stopped telling me I was beautiful, AND making me believe him.

I have no doubt you are a caring and wonderful husband, and I'd like to suggest that you step up the romance and flattery a notch. Praise and feeling accepted are wonderful motivators. And suggest activities that are outside. Start easy with going for walks along a scenic route or even mini golf. Just as long as its outside and snacking isnt an option. Its a good start

Once shes feeling a little better about herself you can tackle the menu then.
good luck

Believe me there is no way that you can change someone else.
Last year, Sept. 17, 2007 to be exact my dh had double bypass surgery. He's had high lipids for years, type 2 diabetes, and never exercised. He wasn't a smoker so that wasn't a contributing factor.
I had my hip replaced almost 6 years ago. Since then I've started this WOL and exercising.
Dh's cardiologist supports a lc lifestyle and tries to convince my dh to change his WOE.
DH sees that this works. The foods are here and are offered.
Dh makes the choice to not change anything. I love him the way he is and I'm very greatful that he's still here!!!!!

Hi KBKris,

I have learned that showing/doing over the long-term is the best example...
In many things!!

I have not bought pasta, potatoes or bread/bread products since April when my Hubby went back to Iraq.
It is hard when he is home... he is given to convenience foods - he barely has time to sleep with the needs of the Army.
His favorite foods are Cow, coffee & chocolate, LOL!
He is a meat eater(not fish) & loves it Rare, so I keep him 'ployed' with steaks & chicken & ribs & all that good stuff!
I make sure it is ready & waiting or pre-prepared. What you could try is to take over the cooking duties for supper...
I read you work 3rds, so maybe if you talk with her & adjust your sleeping schedule, you could 'relieve' her of the nightly Kichen duties & put your LC 'input' into good meals for your Family!!

I am doing this LC WOL/WOE for myself, DH says I look good, but I have a drive to look great! I too have a man 12 years my Jr...but he is shorter than I & fit & he will (most likely) always weigh less than me! But, I can try!

I hope that I gave you some ideas in which to approach your current family nutritional needs - Best of Luck & let us know how it works out! ~Cheryl

Thank you for your advice. You most definitely gave me some great ideas.

Kris

Kris,

I sympathize with your plight. While my DH doesn't need to lose weight ( I hope my 4 kids get his Japanese genes and NOT mine!!), I would like to change my kids' choice of food. They barely touch a veggie, choose brownies and cupcakes over anything else for snack, have cookies and ice cream for dessert. My skinniest one has waffles, Pop Tarts and Toaster Strudel all in one sitting for breakfast. He much prefers the carbs over the proteins. I don't know how he stays skinny--must be the Japanese side in him. Even my eldest son wants to know how he stays so skinny! We try, we really do, but they prefer the highly processed foods. And as much as we don't buy that someone around here will--we have an aunt that lives close by. I just make sure we have good dinners (I do cook almost every evening meal as I am a SAHM) and my DH takes care of breakfast. DH will insist that if they want a PopTart (or cereal, oatmeal, grits), they have to have eggs and sausage too. Just to balance out the sugar from the Pop Tart. They also don't drink juice, just water. Lunch is where we don't have much control-they like to eat school lunches and we don't have much control since we are not there. Just letting you know that you are not alone. If you want your kids to build muscles, just make sure they eat their protein!! And know that milk is overrated, and they need to eat fat for their brains.