How do you deal with living with a partner who eats lots of simple carbs and isn't interested in low-carbing? That's a problem I'm dealing with now. I'm on a diet similar to South Beach, but my boyfriend isn't interested. He eats lots of bread and sugar all day and doesn't want to give it up.

Meanwhile, I'm doing well with very little bread, hardly any sugar, and quite a lot of meat, oil and veggies. But he still eats his bread, pasta and potatoes on top of the food I cook for us, so now he's gaining weight while I'm losing.

Yesterday I had a little breakthrough. I made hamburgers for us, and he commented on the fact that I ate mine with just a slice of wholegrain bread. I told him that bread and sugar made me gain weight and feel bloated, and he wondered out loud if that could be why he gains weight and feels bloated. But he's still not convinced. Some of his goth friends have told him that his problems are caused by eating red meat, and he's more inclined to believe that. But he doesn't eat red meat every day, however he eats sugary cereal for breakfast, lots of white bread for lunch, uses sugar in his coffee and tea (of which he drinks a lot), then he often has a sandwich later in the day, and then potato or pasta with dinner. Yet he still doesn't make the connection.

Actually, ranting like this has made me realize that I haven't put it to him quite like that so far. Maybe I should just tell him what I just wrote. But still... I'm worried that I'm causing him more harm than good by cooking according to my low intake of simple carbs because now he gets both carbs and fat in large amounts.

Has anyone else been in this situation? If so I'd like to hear how you handled it.

Im a tad ashamed to admit it but I was the negative nelly to my DH months ago before I started LCing.I ate whatever I wanted right in front of him and wasn't very supportive. I still tell him Im sorry,lol.So then I started makinng his dinner for him and mine afterwards. After a few months of this I gave Atkins a shot. Now I will never return to the horrid way I ate before.

Sooner or later the lightbuld will click, or not. You don't want to come off preachy. We all know how we feel when gianing and your partner tells you what you are doing wrong. No better excuse to rebel. I more or less had this problem with my teenages. Both mom and dad were low carbing and very were very against it. And yes my daughter did start gaining because of the high fat and high carbs she was eating. A few months into this woe she jumped on the band wagon. Then a while after that my son got on board too.

My duaghter is now in away at school. And my son bounced back and forth between the two eating styles. I really don't think that this is helping him, but I am not going to be the eating police. He knows what works and what doesn't. IT is always best to just lead by example.

As you lose weight, he will figure it out. Don't pressure him. It you want you might pick up some low carbing books and leave them around the house. Maybe he will learn something from them.

Mmm yes, I know I shouldn't preach, and that's why I only talked about myself and let him draw his own conclusions. Meanwhile I keep worrying that my diet is causing him problems. I definitely give him less pasta and more veggies than I used to, but he keeps asking for starchy things, and who am I to deny him those? He also eats large amounts of sugary things, and I'm worried about what effect that has combined with the food I cook now. Since I switched from low-fat to low-carb, he's on high-carb/high-protein/high fat compared to before when the protein and fat intake was lower. And he's still eating the same amounts as before. I have no influence on his breakfast, lunch or snacks, only on dinner.

Leaving books around is a good idea. I should be getting the SBD book any day now, so I'll leave that on the coffee table for him to peruse. My Omega Diet book is in Danish which he doesn't yet read, so that's no use.

"who am I to deny him those?"

Well, you're the cook, aren't you?
Seriously, you don't make anyone eat. They choose what they eat, just as you do. I'm sure he's thinking "But I've always eaten this way" and can't realize what it's doing to his body, but you can't mess up your health just because he seems to be messing up his.
If Atkins works for you, then keep with it, and just quietly let the results speak for you. Being honest, as you have been doing, about how sugar and bread makes YOU feel is all the reason anyone should need to understand why you eat this way.

I think the more I do LC the harder my partner rebels with junk. HGe eats alot at school or work though. I am the main cook, but typically he'll pass on the left overs from dinner (he works late) and grab convience food instead. Most of his convience food just looks nasty to me at this point so I'll just rib him about how unhealthy he eats.

The kids kind of fall in the middle. They eat most of the meals I do, and sometimes some of dad's treats.

My DH continues to be a carb eater but he watches his carbs. If he had a pizza for lunch he is more careful at dinner. We went out to dinner last week and he refused to order french fries with his bbq ribs because he had pizza for lunch. He sees my weightloss and good lipid profile so he kind of watches himself.

I think Adkpam makes a good point. You are not forcing him to eat anything. It is his choice. If his habits concern you, I would certainly sit down with him and explain why - you would do the same if you felt he was doing anything else that was harmful (smoking, drinking, whatever that may be). It is up to him what direction to take that.

I don't know if this would go over well, but . . .

I'd continue to cook LC meals for the both of you. But it would be a very good idea to mention to him (or hint, though sometimes that just doesn't work!) that eating high carb with lots of fat and protien can make one gain weight. Given that information, he can make informed decisions about what he chooses to eat.

My oldest son lives with me and he is not a low-carber. I do the shopping and most of the cooking, so, by default, most of what he eats is low-carb. I don't by bread, sugar or pasta. Most of what is available for him to eat is meat and vegetables. If he wants something else, he buys it and fixes it. He used to complain about the lack of bread, but he has grown accustomed to it now.

I don't want to come off as being cruel, but there is such thing as
common sense. Ignoring Common sense is a form of "Natural Selection".

I'm going to assume we are talking about a younger guy here.

Young Guys generaly think they are indestructable. Their personal experience is usually that they can eat like pigs and still burn it all off. But those days come to an end, and the pigish habits can catch up like a raging flash flood.

when he can't button the favorite pair of pants any more - he might be more inclined to listen.

Klodomir, why not give your partner the book to read? Or at least some printouts from lowcarb sites. At least he is thinking of it.


I have made the choice to change the way I am eating, as far as I am concerned my DH has to make his own choice, I am not going to force low-carb on him. Doing that can backfire, I just will let him see my results. I still cook potatoes and pasta for my family and buy bread, they also eat and enjoy my low carb stuff too. My DD is blessed with a strong metabolism, she barely has any fat on her, in fact I've been accused of not feeding her enough (by inlaws ) but she eats more than I do.

The cook makes the rules!

I the kind of relationship you have would effect how you approach the situation.

My love and I moved in together 9 years ago -- we were both older, and we knew that our relationship was not about trying to change the other person to suit us.

I was very overweight, and he loved me as I was. When it was Right for me to go Low Carb, he supported me and encouraged me, but he was not interested in giving up carbs. That was his decision.

When we cook, we make something that both of us will eat -- if he makes steak, he makes himself a baked potato - we both have broccoli or a salad. If I make shrimp primavera, he has some pasta with it. Its really not that hard to make a meal that carbs can be added to without a lot of difficulty.

Life is way too short to try change others just because we want to change ourselves.

When your partner is ready for a change, he will change. If not, love him for who he is, not what he eats.

I live with a non-lc'er ... who, while very supportive of me, swears he could never ever eat LC (hates veggies except for carrots & corn, lives for his cereal). I end up cooking 2 meals most of the time - ie. I make 2 lasagnas, one meat & veg LC one, 1 meat & cheese & noodle non-lc one. I will sometimes cook a main dish in common (ie. a roast or pork tenderloin) and then different sides - mashed potatoes & carrots for him, mashed cauliflower & green beans for me. It can be a bit exhausting, so I do a lot of cooking on the weekend and re-heat during the week. (Big batch of mashed cauliflower, pre-made dishes, cook the meat ahed of time).

I've found over time that he still eats his treats - chips & cookies etc., though I think he eats less since he's not also snacking WITH me, just when he's hungry, and he's eating way less bread, pasta & potatoes - I've even been able to sneak mashed cauliflower, lc gravy & lc yorkshire into his repertoire, and his evening snack is often now lc cheesecake or strawberries with whipped cream instead of mccain chocolate cake (Though he's enjoying some homemade chocolate chip cookies as I type ) By letting him try a bit of something I've created to "replace" one of our regular foods, but not forcing it on him, he's often been receptive to eating my version in the future.

I think everyone makes their own choices - I know I would have been hurt, offended & angry if DBF had tried to critique my food choices in the past. I had to be ready to make changes for myself, and commit to these changes, for them to work. I use some awareness in how I cook (ie. trying not to drench his servings in butter etc.) and I've told him here and there WHY I'm eating the way I do and how it works for me... I think that's enough for some people to begin to naturally curb their carb consumption, even without realizing it.

I'd let him make his own choices.... if he finds he's gaining weight and is unhappy with it, seeing your success may point him in the right direction.
Also - if you're interested/worried/curious, why not Fitday a few days of his food?

Wynter