Hi, everybody. Well, everything is going really well with this new WOE. I'm dropping weight, my figure is slowly melting, my fibromyalgia has eased up completely so that I can exercise more frequently and for longer periods of time. It's been one month of this LC-ing and I am literally feeling like a new woman. SO WHAT COULD BE WRONG? Let me tell you.

I'll start off with a little history. I love my husband dearly. He has always been a very supportive, kind, caring person. (We also work together as musicians - which is how we met. I'm a singer-songwriter and he is my bassplayer.) He met me when I was quite thin, and despite my weight gain over the past several years, his love and devotion toward me has never wavered and he has NEVER put me down because of my weight.

My husband and I have always eaten health foods. Alot of soy, alot organic veggies and plenty of brown rice and fruit. Here and there, I would lapse into eating too much white flour and sugar but would always try to get "back on track" with the "health food". These eating habits are how I eventually put on all of my weight. What made me finally try the low-carb, higher-protein approach was basically PAIN.

I was in so much joint/muscle pain with my fibromyalgia (and the excess pounds not helping, of course) that I was nearly an invalid at only 40 years young - walking with a cane and wearing elastic knee and ankle braces just to get around. The last straw was not being able to play my guitar properly or for any length of time without shooting, agonizing stabs of pain through my arms, shoulder blades and neck. The quality of my life had become CRAP. I was becoming deeply depressed as a result.

Desperate and not getting ANY answers from my doctors (except: YOU SHOULD cut out more of the FAT in your diet) I began to explore literature online that blasted WHITE FLOUR and SUGAR as poison and highly inflammatory food items. I figured out that by eliminating those items first, my pain began to disappear and my energy began to return. Also, no more "brain-fog". Encouraged, I explored Atkins and then Somersizing recipes - sticking to alot of fish, turkey, chicken, PLENTY OF FRESH VEGGIES, a little fruit, and cutting down on soy (which also gives me pain!) and having a little brown rice a couple of times a months. Each day I am feeling better and better and coming up with new food combinations that seem to be working well for me. I am never hungry and always feel upbeat and energetic now.

OK, so WHAT is the problem? It's my health-food eatin' hubby. He has taken to constantly picking apart the food choices I am making, giving me speeches about all of the hormones and toxins that are in the poultry I am eating, badgering me about how I should be eating more brown rice, asking me WHY I AM NOT EATING MORE SOY. It's unbelievable. This morning I just lost it when he sneerlingly called me "Ms. Atkins" as I prepared a turkey sausage over a bed pf spinach for myself. I don't supervise what HE eats, and I can't stand this "militant health food" behavior of his - for the first time I do not feel supported by him.

At the same time, he tells me that he does notice the difference in my body and my activity level and he's really happy for me that my pain is gone and I'm getting my life back to what it was. But mealtimes are becoming hell. It makes no sense to me. I should mention that my husband is a dedicated fan of famous health guru GARY NULL, whom I do think has many sound ideas regarding health and fitness, but who does not advocate meat eating of any kind).

Any ideas on how to deal with this situation? It is driving me nuts. If I didn't feel so damn great from LC-ing, I'd REALLY BE UPSET
Peace,
Lena

Have you tried talking to him and saying the things that you just stated? What works for one person doesn't work for another so what may be fine for him just wasn't working for you. Congratulations on your progress. Just getting rid of the pain would be worth sticking to low carbing. I am so proud for you. If having a serious talk with your DH doesn't work you may have to bop him over the head with a rubber chicken. I wish you continued success and all the best!

Thank you so much, Lori. It just made me feel good to vent and to read your response. NOW WHERE IS THAT RUBBER CHICKEN? Seriously, I did express my feelings to him earlier, and I think my husband will "come around" as I continue to improve physically - it's just a little hard for him to give up his VERY INGRAINED nutritional beliefs.

I mean, we happen to SHARE many of those beliefs and it's a little rough for me - mostly ethically - going back to eating ANY meat when my diet had been mostly vegetarian and fish for so long. As I attain my goal, I will probably taper off on the meats but for now I need the protein and the variety. Thank you again -
OX
Lena

You are soooo welcome! It's hard to get enough protein as a vegetarian but if you eat fish it might be doable. Since what you are doing is working so well I would probably stick with it though. Let us hear how things are going.

Yes, I'll keep you posted and please allow me congratulate YOU as well, Lori - you are doing really fantastic~! We're really gonna ROCK this New Year in, don't you think?
Lena

My 2 cents:
Print out your original post and let him read it! You didn't say anything "bad" about him. Perhaps he doesn't realize how it drives you crazy when he picks apart your food choices. Maybe he is just worried for you and projects that by his behavior. The best way to clear things up with another person is by clear communication.

I vote "rubber chicken"....

Seriously, if explaining to him doesn't get through some other steps are in order to reduce YOUR stress. You may not be able to change his behavior, but stating your needs, such as "I need to be able to eat what I choose without judgement or lecture." Then walk away from him and eat in another room, if possible. I've had to do this with a "loved" one..after about 10 times (slow learner) it actually stopped.

Since red meat is a source of debate...I wonder if they make rubber COWS?

LOL - I know a few people I'd like to hit with a rubber cow!

I'm sure, as you say, that your dh will come around. He cannot deny the positive results in front of his very eyes.

Many of us were skeptical of this woe as well (can I really eat butter??? steak???) so it should be no suprise that he is. Patience and kindness, girl - he'll see the light!

Thanks everyone for writing - I'm liking everyone's responses alot. And yeah, Iowagirl, your particular response really spoke to me about having "patience and kindness" for Mr. Skeptic. Patience is an area I am constantly working on and who better to practice with?

You ALL ROCK~
Peace,
Lena

Yes, Atriana - your post rings very true. He's definitely concerned about the possibility of this being un unhealthy fad. I had the same concerns, but the results I am getting are undeniably positive.

You know...if he's really all that worried about you eating hormones and stuff in chicken, ask him if he'd mind you spending the extra buck or so per pound for free-range, hormone-free organic chicken.
I agree with everyone else that explaining that what works well for him was causing you no small amount of physical distress and this way of eating just plain makes you feel better.

You did a wonderful job of explaining your situation to us all.

Its funny but when I have any problem with hubby, I talk to him about him, like in the third person (like I'm talking to a friend) and ask him advice about the situation (as if its not us)

Try the same thing. Print out your post and read it to him and ask his advice on how to handle a husband who has always been supportive in the past, and yet when you have found a WOE that has increased the quality of YOUR life, he has become critical at meal times!

I guarantee he'll see things differently.

As far as your husband hoping this isn't just some "fad" thing, does it help him to know that this "fad" has been around for 30 years and has steadily improved upon itself through case histories and studies and that all those who jump on the bandwagon know that when they have jumped off they feel terrible -- physically -- and that returning to this WOE makes a real difference in quality of life?

My favorite saying for instances like yours is, "To each his own." It makes sense and it's the God's honest truth!

As everyone here has already said, he's seeing positive changes and as long as that is present he'll come around. He may be worried for your long-term health, but in a few months get some bloodwork done, be still fibromyalgia-free and moving around like your old self ... and he won't need much more convincing.

Keep at it!

I mean, he's not a singer, you are. He's a bass player. What made him a bass player? Maybe God has different plans for us all? You don't make the same kind (exactly) of music; why is it necessary for you to eat (and even more importantly) to NEED the exact same food?

Your hair's different your eyes are different maybe you even have different blood types. Is it beyond comprehension that you have different metabolic requirements? Could his kidney support you (drop this argument if you're an exact match)? If not, why then must his diet?

I hate food zealots. Almost as much as I resent those people who give up meat and lose weight. Tried it. Didn't work. Got big ugly zits on my face, and I've seen some of those girls at the health food store who eat that way (I imagine, I don't actually know what they eat) with really BAD skin. My skin is happier now that I'm on LC. Gee--maybe my body is telling me something about what it needs? I want to walk in the local health food store and scream, "Some of you people need more red meat in your diet!!!"

But I don't.

It's always scary when we have to open our ideas up to new truth. Many of us spent a long time in that heath food sphere. But I just couldn't have tried it any harder. It doesn't work for everyone.

hi Lena,

You might want to think about cutting back on soy, not eating more. There's considerable evidence that excess isoflavones from soy foods can suppress thyroid function .. an important consideration for us fibromites .

Check out the information at about.com's Thyroid Info site .. Soy's Negative Impact on The Thyroid.


Doreen