Things I want but can't have:

1. A magic wand to make me instanly thin. To erase those treats from pregnancy and the hurtful comments from when I was a child.

2. A way of exercising that is so efficient that I can spend minutes instead of hours at the gym, yet have the same results and the same great feeling after.

3. One pill that would meet all my unique suppliment needs and replace all the pills and powders.

4. My dress size to what I think is ideal. While I can lower it I must keep my expectations realistic for my lean muscle mass and body.

5. Moving my exercse class from 6:30 to a time I can manage better, or heck to my own personal time when I feel like doing it.

Things I can have or change:

1. My weight. I can change this by living a healthy life style and having patience.

2. My self esteem. I could change this by losing weight, but that won't help. Instead I will change this by looking beyond my physical apperence and basking in the unconditional love of my children.

3. Feeling healthy. I can do this by taking only vitamins and no diet drugs. By eating healthy and making sure I maintain a good balance of protien and fat while avoiding over processed flour, sugar, and other chemicals.

4. My wardrobe. Even without losing a single dress size I can take pride in my apperence. Each day I see women heavier then I am who wear nice clothing. Thier tummies may show, but instead of focusing on that people see the overall effect and treat them with respect.

5. My exercise. I can personalize my exercise and make it fun for me. I can include my children and make it not only fun, but an educational tool for them to learn healthy habits young. I can choose to take the early class that I love so much, or if I do happen to miss it instead of beating myself up I can go to the gym and exercise on my own.



So does anyone else have goals that don't deal directly with numbers on a scale, or wishes they know won't happen but it would be nice if.........

Except that this IS the easier way...

The character defect that most drives my life today is that I am SO good at "knowing about," and so bad at actually "knowing." Read the book, that's it; there's the answer. I get it, I understand.

Now do it. Every day. For the rest of your life. When you're bored. When you're angry. When you're lonely. Change your habits. Change your life.

Umm... that's harder.

The one-pill supplement would be too big to swallow, assuming you take as many as I do. There's a simple volume problem as far as that goes. I lay out 8 days' worth--use film cannisters--and that limits how many times I have to open ALL those bottles.

The fun ?? part is, this character defect is showing up EVERYWHERE in my life, so I guess it's time to confront it and get real. Sculpting is good; there is simply NO art unless I actually DO the work; ideas in a notebook are meaningless until I confront the wood.

Am I real, or not? Easy answer. Do the work. Eat LC, and even better, only eat when I'm hungry. I have not mastered this yet. I have accepted that what I've been doing so far is not enough, and I am looking for more support. Not dead yet; expect that means God intends for me to keep at it.

I suspect strongly that if I were at my ideal size tomorrow, I would face SO MANY unresolved issues about appearance and being fat and being attractive and all that mess that I would have a melt down. Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. It'll come.