I'm more anxiety than depressed as a person and lately I have a full plate of anxiety that is preventing me from sleeping. I had two panic attacks, first I have had in months.

I thought I would talk about it.
As you might know, I miss my children. They are gone this week and we haven't been away from each other this long before.
I keep having thoughts that I am a bad mother and that the kids are better off with their father/my parents. Silly isn't it!?

I also did something foolish. I wrote to my friend that I love and told him how I felt. What is awful is not knowing how he took it or if he even read it. Its so hard being a friend in love with a friend who only sees you as a friend. But you know? I'm doing it. I can just be a friend. I haven't hear from him in over a week. He's been very busy at work due to a 5 week trip he's doing for work.
So there is a good reason for why he isn't emailing.

At work, An engineer that I work with made compaints about me to the Office Manager and to my Project Manager. Saying I don't get along with the others, which except for him, isn't true.
I have spoken with the other members of the team and they are good with me. My Project Manager says that this is just a problem blown out of proportion, but I had to work on staying in the office 8-5 and not take so much time off for appointments.
I'm a single mom and I take about 3 hours off a month to take my children or I to doctors, dentists, and counsillors. I make the time up ahead of them so not to upset my work flow. The engineer who complains pushes me to work harder which isn't bad at all. But he also insults me. Which I don't find funny. But I was told to get use to it.

There got that off my chest!
I just feel like crying. Silly isn't it?!