Mon, Jun-16-03, 06:02
|
Senior Member
Posts: 4,629
|
|
Plan: Generic LC with tweaks
Stats: 204/178/165
BF:
Progress: 67%
Location: NC
|
|
I want it to be easier
Except that this IS the easier way...
The character defect that most drives my life today is that I am SO good at "knowing about," and so bad at actually "knowing." Read the book, that's it; there's the answer. I get it, I understand.
Now do it. Every day. For the rest of your life. When you're bored. When you're angry. When you're lonely. Change your habits. Change your life.
Umm... that's harder.
The one-pill supplement would be too big to swallow, assuming you take as many as I do. There's a simple volume problem as far as that goes. I lay out 8 days' worth--use film cannisters--and that limits how many times I have to open ALL those bottles.
The fun ?? part is, this character defect is showing up EVERYWHERE in my life, so I guess it's time to confront it and get real. Sculpting is good; there is simply NO art unless I actually DO the work; ideas in a notebook are meaningless until I confront the wood.
Am I real, or not? Easy answer. Do the work. Eat LC, and even better, only eat when I'm hungry. I have not mastered this yet. I have accepted that what I've been doing so far is not enough, and I am looking for more support. Not dead yet; expect that means God intends for me to keep at it.
I suspect strongly that if I were at my ideal size tomorrow, I would face SO MANY unresolved issues about appearance and being fat and being attractive and all that mess that I would have a melt down. Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. It'll come.
|