This is crazy. Today I wore a dress to work. (This is not uncommon for me to do). I've had no less than ten comments, and also quite a few looks. I feel like I look better already, I really do, but I don't feel quite ready for that much attention.

Now before you ask, it's not a dress that screams look at me. It's just a simple knee-length sheath dress, black with a pink & red floral pattern. And I have high heels on, but jeez louise.

I know this is probably an issue for a trained professional, but do any of you have this problem?

I have gained and lost several hunderd pounds over the years. I really feel antagonistic (sp?) when people (mostly men) who would not give me the time of day or day hello to me in the hallway when I was heavy, suddenly made it a point to stop by or strike up a conversation with me when I am thin. A few times I said this to their face and told them that if they did not think I was worth being freindly too when I was fat, then I am not interested in that type of a superfical person and do not wish to waist my time with them. (okay I only said this to 2 guys who were real ~ss holes). I am very brunt with the other people who do this.

However, I am very friendly when someone who never seemed to care about my weight makes a nice comment or asks me what I have been doing.

Hi Cori,
I understand - truely. I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she had a point - just take it at face value. It embarasses me when people make comments about my weight loss - but they don't know - they think they are helping. I am sure it made you feel pretty good deep down that people are noticing your weight loss. Once I get over the inital embarassment, I smile to myself and realize that this WOE is worth it!

BTW - I went to peak at your journal and I totaly agree w/ you

Men like women in dresses. They are about 800x more sexy than pants or jeans.
Just thought you night like a male perspective!
Robert

Jeans can be sexy. You ever hear the country song "Heaven Help Us - Baby's Got Her Blue Jeans On?"

It's been my experience that a sound slap to the face generally ends the comments but its cost me a lot of jobs and fake fingernails.

Hold your head high and smile.

Hi Cori,

I'm the same. I cringe when people compliment my physical appearance... having thought about it, that's the reason every effort I made to lose weight in the past failed miserably.. I hate being looked at like I'm a commodity which is suddenly saleable because I've dropped a dress size.

However, it does help if YOU feel good and confident about yourself. Wear your nice clothes for you and just smile and nod and keep walking through the compliments until you can get to a place where they don't scare you..

that's the theory anyway

Goodness, I'm sure no one was trying to offend anyone by passing a compliment! They meant it nicely, try to take it that way. I realize that can be difficult when you're unaccustomed to positive attention, but you're doing yourself and the rest of the world a favor by learning to accept it in the spirit given.

OK, I have to admit I am the exact opposite. I was always little and cute and got some attention from that. Then I gained weight and it all stopped. I realized that I was not really cute anymore. It sucked. Recently, I have gotten some attention again and shallow or not-it makes me feel better. Part of that may be I just feel better about myself and that is reflected in my attitude. I no longer try to hide my body so much and I walk with confidence again. I know I am more than what I look like or what I weigh, but having a ginormous brain gets lost sometimes behind my ginormous behind. I want to be smart and cute!

What can I say? I am an attention whore.

You mentioned that you felt like you looked better already. Part of what people may have been noticing was a more confident person. People who walk and act with more confidence tend to draw peoples attention more than someone who is insecure. It was probably good intentioned, I'd take it as such.

I have mixed feelings about losing weight. I want to lose weight, but I don't like the attention I get when I do. It's hard to explain, but I feel like people are LOOKING at me, really looking. And when i am fat, I am invisible.

It usually starts around 165. As you can see, I have been on the weight -loss roller coaster before, and every time I hit that weight, seems like people notice and I panic. It's like an alarm goes off. AAACK! People are looking at me and then they will see all my faults.

But I am determined that this time I will persevere and look forward to compliments as a reward for all those nasty (okay, yummy, but sooo bad for me!) chocolate donuts I have resisted.

You can do it, too!!!

Yep, my fat is definitely a shield. I wasn't offended really, it just made me very self-conscious.

Robert - why are dresses 800x sexier? Just curious.

Yes, I would also like to know!
Cori, I know what you mean. You will get used to it The otheres answered your question, I only want to say - enjoy it, you deserve it!
Take care!
Alina
PS I always get more looks when I wear a dress. I'm ready for an explanation!

Cori, I have a similar feeling like yours.

I'm in a gaming group that has 6 single guys. All but one has basically told me that they weren't attracted to me, when I first started gaming there about a year and a half ago. The one who is attracted is my foster brother Well I've lost a total of about 65lbs. (I have the third time I started Atkins I was 325, but when I first started two years ago I was 350) and you can guess what reactions I'm now getting No one would give me the time of day, and now they are acting like idiots trying to do things for me. What are they going to do when I'm even smaller?!

I know men look at women's bodies, they can't help it. But why discount a women just because she's big? Why would weight be the issue of attraction or not?! This is something I've got to get my head straight on for I don't want this anxiety.
So I understand a little of what you mean.

I guess because men are so visual - beats me!

Robert - We are patiently waiting the explanation of the dress phenomenon!!!