I am so terribly sorry for your loss. A beloved pet is no less of a family member - especially after that long. That is very sad. I lost my siamese cat who was 17 about 2 years ago, and i still miss him. You have every right to grieve. I think that you did very well, eating just the eggs. These things happen. Don't beat yourself up about it anymore - just get back to the program, and get on with things. First and foremost, you must take care of yourself, and be extra nice to you at this time. Again, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Hang in there