Dear AThinMe

The losses you have just experienced are terrible. I am fortunate in that in my life I have had not had to experience many losses of persons - my Father-in-Law who I loved dearly died but he was 87 and had had a great life, died suddenly and without prolonged illness or great pain. We greived but knew it was all for the best. I did have a loss of a pet which was similar to yours, a wonderful dog, we got her when she was a pup and she was with us for 12 years - my youngest son was 2 when we got her he is hyper-active and carried that poor puppy around upside down and chased her - she loved him as she loved us all, (he was not cruel to her - just not the best at handling her) she seemed to sense that he had some disablities and always watched out for him, she was my constant companion and when she became ill and the most humane solution was to have her put down, before we went to the vet we all sat down at the pond where I used to always feed her the last of my lunch and although she was hardly able to walk any more she perked up when we headed to the car and jumped in to the back seat as if she knew what was happening and wanted to go to peace. we all missed her. For me though it was something more - I had to adjust to getting out of bed and stepping over a dog that was no longer there - she always slept on the floor at my side of the bed. I had to adjust to automaticlly lifting my feet when I moved from the sink in the kitchen - because she wasn't there. It took me about a week before I could cry - and when I started to it felt as if there would never be an end. I have another dog now and I love her very much - but I still cry at times remembering my Tickles.

With all that you have been through it is understandable that you lapsed a little - but you understand why and now you are ready to regain control. The days ahead will still be rough but - you will reach some peace and be able to go on.