THANK YOU FOR THIS THREAD!!
- THE LOOK
-WADDLING
- having to ask that we not sit in a booth when i go to a restauraunt with a friend or else having my stomach rest on the table if i am forced to squeeze in.
-the look of disgust from my mother (or anyone else who sees me) gives me when i am in my nightgown without a bra and my big bojangas SWING LOW...sweet chariot...
-hearing my ten year old nephew excliam" geeze..what the hell happened to you? you used to be hot" when he discovers my old high school photos , wincing in disbelief.
- having to eat my dinner standing at the counter b/c i am afraid i will turn the spindly antique chairs that look pretty at the table into kindling (again..see my journal).
- having sales people, gas station attendants, etc ignore me or speak to me with contemp..without making eye contact.. when i try to appraoch them in public.
-having the waiter at the expensive hotel restaurant
where i was staying for two weeks hand the check folder to my guests b/c he assumed the fat lady must not be able to afford it....>grrrrr<
-placing my low carb high fat groceries on the check out belt while walking around my cart to get the last few items off the bottom of the cart while trying to keep my belly from flopping over into the cart as bystanders look on in disgust at me...then my groceries..then back at me...
-wedging my self into movie theater seats and having to wait through all the credits for the place to empty out so other people wont see me sruggle to get up and out.
-trying to buy a carpet washer at sears only to have the sales guy refuse to sell me one..abrubtly stating"you dont need one" while avoiding eye contact with me, only to find him selling one to a skinny lady 5 minutes later.
-catching people staring at my belly ..then the rest of me..when they first see me.
-the look of concerned repulsion i get when i cannot fasten a seat belt..bend over to pick something up ..or fit into an airline seat..from "friends" or strangers.
-hoping no one in my extended family dies or gets married so i dont have to face them at a wedding or funeral or make excuses why i cant go
-praying to GOd every time i go out that i dont bump into anyone from highschool...and certainly not an ex-boyfiend!
-being the one that cant ride any rides at disney world and slows down the whole group on vacation
- going over a speed bump, pot hole or other bump in my car and feeling my double chin and everything alse still jiggling for a few seconds afterward.
-sweating everytime i move around
-listening to the cleaning lady accuse me of "never doing any housework" in spanish evrytime my skinny and very messy mother leaves her clutter lying around b/c the maid assumes i must be lazy and sit on my ass all day to be so fat.
-hearing "you have such a pretty face..it is such a shame you are so heavy" from my grandmother.
-overhearing the er doctor talking to the interns when i had an anaphylacic allergic reaction say "she's so god damn fat..who the hell can tell if she's swollen!"
-hearing the paramedics who took me to the hospital shout.."guys..we need extra men on the end" as they hoisted my gourney..with me jiggling on it ..out of the ambulance.
-getting my hair highlighted at the salon and sitting there..jiggling..while my hair dresser had to pump the peddle over and over to get the chair to raise up to his height...
-waddling!!! did i mention waddling?