I haven't been on the forums much this month. It's been too stressful at home, and I haven't felt very social. Things may be picking up though, so we'll see how it goes.

Well, last month I was happy with the weight loss I'd experienced so far. I'm somewhat less happy right now. On the 13th I went to my doctor and he said that since my BP was down that I could stop taking the ACE inhibitor prescription and stick to the diuretic to control my symptoms. Great, I thought. One down, two to go for my goal of being prescription free.

Two weeks later, with no other change in my foods, I'm nine pounds heavier.

I've been doing a lot of reading and research. I know to take web research with a mine of salt, but when I see some of the same commentary repeated in multiple sources (and I'm sure that they're not all quoting the same original source) I tend to start taking it more seriously. In this case I noticed a lot of comments (starting with Atkins himself) that diuretics were top of the hit parade for causing stalls. Now I'm not in a stall, I'm in full-moose-stampede retreat, but it was enough to make me take notice. So I decided to (with great trepidation) see if it is in fact taking the diuretic alone that is causing me to gain. I've been reading up on supplementation as a way to avoid taking diuretics, and have started on a regime of Co-Q10, L-taurine, L-carnitine and magnesium, and am monitoring my symptoms with great care. It seems to be working after a week; I'm back down to 256.5 from a high of 258.5 on Saturday. If the trend continues, and my BP stays down, I'm hopeful.

I need something to be hopeful about; it's week 10 without work and I've got some hard decisions to make. This month will either see me a) acquire some small-business financing to stay alive and b) find at least one contract, or else I may be forced to hang it up and call it a good idea at a bad time. It's really difficult to admit that the thing you want most to do isn't working.

Needless to say I haven't felt very successful the past few weeks, and that is why I've not been around here much. Caitlin has become a gung-ho forum resident; the terrific support she's finding here helped her to participate in Mischa's challenge and actually get started working out again, something I haven't found the motivation to do yet. (I even took pictures of myself thinking I'd go along, but until I get rid of the Thud Fairy I don't feel up to taking it on.)

I hold out hope that next month's check-in will contain much happier news.