Wow, great thread Koko! You know, I always believed that I wouldn't meet my "soulmate" until I was thin. As it turned out, I met him when I weighed approx. 250 pounds! Fortunately for me, he recognized me as his soulmate anyway, and we fell in love and got married. Over the next year and a half, I gained another 50 lbs., and then eventually lost that 50 lbs. (and I'm working on losing the rest now ) The one thing that has continued to amaze me is that my husband has never ONCE made me feel "less than" because of my weight. In fact, he gets upset with me if I make a crack about my weight (even if I do it in a totally joking, lighthearted kind of way). Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself.... Anyway, he's not normally attracted to larger women, yet he is very attracted to me, emotionally and physically. Without getting too graphic, I can honestly say that we have GREAT sex! We just have wonderful chemistry together, and it has made me see that my "weighty issues" are literally ALL IN MY MIND.

I think the key is to stop focusing on yourself during those intimate moments ("I'm so fat! Is he grossed out by me? I wish he'd shut off the light! Oh my god he's touching my rolls!.....") and instead just focus on expressing your love for him, and making him feel good. Remember that he's probably focused on making YOU feel good too!

Sensuality has nothing to do with the size of a person's body! I really do believe that. It's all about your heart and spirit, and the feelings you have for your partner, and the feelings he has for you. It's that damn self-consciousness that gets in the way, NOT the excess pounds!