There is a comfort knowing I'm not alone. Thank you all for sharing your experiences and I hope you'll keep doing so.

DuPont, I was glad to read your husband finally figured out it was HIS problem. Amazingly when you wouldn't fix his problem, he had to find a way to fix it himself. He couldn't avoid solving his own problem anymore once you refused to do it for him. He obvioursly knew he had a problem studying because he was complaining about it, but what it took a while for him to recognize is that HE had to do something about it, not you. Good for him and good for you for not taking it on anymore.

I think the more we fix other people or even show a willingness to do so it promotes them expecting us to do it even more. So if we don't want people treating us like that we have to start treating ourselves differently. When someone starts complaining to me I've been trying to say, "It sounds like you've got a problem. What are you going to do about it?" Right away they hear the message that its theirs not mine. Its a matter of setting boundaries and letting them know where that line has been drawn. If I can help someone I will, but I won't make their problem mine to solve. Sometimes that line is hard to recognize but over time I'm getting better about recognizing it.