When I finally started taking meds, I did feel a very slightly bit better almost immediately (of course, I think part of it was that for the first time in years I had a good night's sleep ), but also because it was, finally, something positive I was doing. Other than one medication (I think it was Elavil) that gave me very weird dreams almost immediately, it was a week or two before I really started noticing any real difference and finally felt "normal."

I, too, have spent an inordinant amount of time over the years repeating horrible things to myself -- and trying to find comfort in food. I think part of it came from all of the incredibly depressing thoughts going on in my head -- then, no matter what nice things anyone else said about me, I would tell myself "they wouldn't think that if they knew what was really going on in my head."

I've been learning to let go of a lot of things I have no control over (like some of the decisions of my 17 & 19-year old sons) -- my therapist once told me "No one will ever have to accuse you of something in order for you to feel guilty -- you already feel responsible for everything bad that happens."