Hi all. This will be a disorganized post because I have lots of disorganized thoughts today.

Hi Donna. "Nice avatar...are you exercising there or something? " Thanks - that's one of the old webcam shots from when I was on the ball and in really good shape. You're right about the motivation/inspiration stuph. (I guess that's why you're in that line of work, right? ) I've always tried (often unsuccessfully) to avoid comparing myself to other people - just myself. I think that's why the photos really got to me.

Jaykay - I was motivated by self-disgust for quite a while. I was angry and hated the fact that I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. It works, but it's not too healthy.

Teri, that trick would definitely work for me because I still have a pair of jeans that I can't quite get up over my hips yet.

For me, it's partially a case of slacking off. <b>My name is Kristine, and I am a slacker.</b> I've always been a slacker. I cruised through school with B's, when I could have gotten A's if I would have applied myself. I was just lazy. Now, part of me wants the A's, but I'll have to kick myself in the butt to get them.

M'kay, a little self-analysis:

Things that are holding me back:
- the fact that my b/f is gaining weight, so it's as if I don't "have" to be particularly thin. (Y'know what I mean about that pressure to be smaller than your man?)
- the fact that I'm reasonably satisfied with my weight, in the same context that I was always reasonably satisfied with the Bs I got in school. A's would be really nice.
- I can't seem to convince my impulsive instant-gratification side that I REALLY need to avoid the carby stuff I've been indulging in, because the issue of my hormonal problems just isn't sinking in.
- it's winter, and it's hard to care about your size and shape when you're bundled up in multiple layers.

Things I can do: (and I'll start today!)
- go read about PCOS and women who are post-depo-provera, maybe hang out at one of the forums. This should help me accept that I REALLY have to deal with this.
- keep doing what I've been doing with resistance training. I'm really enjoying it.
- hang up that pair of jeans! Maybe I'll even install my webcam again, and get a picture of it.

My motivation for this week: I'm going to Toronto next weekend for rave thingy, and I want to wear something slinky and cute. The club is boiling hot, so my usual sweater with long skirt and longjohns underneat is out.

Okay ladies, feel free to add your own comments or self-analysis. Have a great Sunday!