OK, I bit the bullet and bought a swimsuit. I can already fit in it (although it's a little snug) so if I don't lose anything else I can still wear it on vacation (always one to hedge bets, am I)

It's a tankini (whatever possessed me???), dark blue with white stipes around the bust. Hardly as pretty as the ones in the pictures, but it'll do for a first step.

I had a show choir director in high school who once explained to an audience that the reason there were three different colors of dresses for the girls (light blue, teal, and dark blue with the smaller girls in the lighter colors) was that "If you want to hide a barn, you don't paint it red." To this day I can't wear flashy clothes...