Congratulations on your success! That is an amazing accomplishment.

I think that many of us, consciously or unconsciously, used to use food to hide from our emotions and pain, or basically to escape from any unhappy feeling. Once we start using food for fuel, and not as an escape, it can be very difficult at first as we learn to FEEL our feelings. And once you begin to feel the feelings, you quickly realize that if some person or some situation is causing you pain or difficulty, you have to DEAL with it, otherwise, you will just continue to feel angry or upset or powerless, which will eventually lead to depression.

That is a very difficult transition to make, when you have to learn to actually confront people and situations and express to them how you are feeling and what they are doing to make you feel that way. Let's say that you feel like a friend or family member is taking advantage of you in some way. You have to be able to say to that person, "Listen, I need to let you know that whenever you do "x" or ask me to do "y", I feel like you are taking advantage of me." This can be scary to do, at first. And that friend or family member is NOT likely to take kindly to your suddenly becoming a strong person who is not afraid of confrontation and to talk about their feelings. So they might get huffy and defensive or angry. But as you continue to do it, you will find it gets less scary and becomes easier.

I know when I started feeling my feelings, I became aware of having a LOT of anger and resentment built up inside of me, because I had been escaping from my feelings with food for most of my life and had not confronted people who were not treating me the way I wanted to be treated. And many of these people were those closest to me - mother, husband, and brother, for starters.

So I think it is good that you are going to be seeing a therapist who can help you through this time of transition. You need someone in your corner, reminding you that you deserve to be treated well and that it is OKAY to ask for what you want and need - not only is it okay, but it is really IMPORTANT. But it WILL get easier, with time, and practice.

Cathy