Yup, I've had eating disorders too and it only gets worse if you starve yourself. If I'm guessing right, you know deep inside that starving is not working anymore and that is why you are searching for a way out. Remember you are not weak for stopping starvation diets. You are actually smart, like all anorexics are. We just don't know how to channel our energies. Starving only works for a while but now you feel like you are not the one in control anymore

Here's what worked for me: experiment with foods and identify your trigger foods. You have to be honest with yourself in this process. I know that bread (any kind), peanut butter, and processed meats are my trigger foods. They might not make me binge in one meal but they keep my mind obsessed with counting grams of this and that. Eventually I will end up bingeing on all other foods like donuts and ice-cream too. Foods I feel 'safe' eating are eggs, olive oil, and natural meat.

I wish I can write pages to share with you my recovery. I know it's scary but you know what, it's WORTH IT! Here's a secret: starvation eventually makes you fat. I know it's hard to digest that because it sure feels empowering what we starve. Eating can feel like too much right after starving. You feel like you can eat the whole world when you get hunry. But don't worry, once you eat enough fats and proteins, your appetite will be fine. I don't want to give you rules because I remember when I was recovering, I felt like people always tried to tell me what to do and i usually rebelled by hurting myself. But here are a few suggestions that work for me:

1) Eat breakfast. Keep it very simple. I usually have three fried eggs in rich olive oil. This meal did not trigger any binge urge for me.
2) Eat lunch. Have meats saute in olive oil.
3) Why olive oil? it aids digestion - anorexic system is weak right now from all the starvation. Better digestion means better calories burning. Allow olive oil to help heal you.
4) Dinner - it's your free ticket. Allow yourself to experiment. Eat peanut butter, cream cheese, etc...(or an Atkin Shake only if you need to let your digestion rest)

Please take everything at your pace. My first round of recovery was a failure because I was trying to do it to please my parents. But I finally realize that I want my health back and now I am recovered - for me. Please come back for support whenever you need to...