I think, also, that family members often don't realize what they're doing to us. Giving them the benefit of doubt, it is possible that they mean well even when they're being really nasty. At least, it seems like a lot of my relatives are like that. They obviously feel comfortable enough with me to tell me what they really believe to be true. It's just that they're often cruel and sometimes wrong in their beliefs.

I agree that honesty is important and I am guilty of being OVERLY honest, myself. Perhaps that's what gives them license to be overly honest with me. The foibles of my youth are catching up to me.