Hi Tonya: I looked at your profile. You're short like me and the weight is no joke. I can relate to you. When I was 16, I was went to the movies with a guy. He met a friend there and the friend said, right in front of me, "She's too fat." I coudda smacked him but I was only 16 with very little self esteem.

You say you've been heavy since high school. Did something happen in your adolescence that got you eating? Was it a medical or emotional happening? Talk to your doctor or your religious leader about this. Don't be embarrased, no matter what it was. I had a traumatic childhood and couldn't talk about it until I was 30. It took time to release the hurt and anger. Most of it has gone and I've gotten on with my life.

Tonia, you're in your early 20's. It's the best time to change the life you hate. Find something that you like to do ... then do it. I know it's not easy to just drop into anything. You're concious about your weight, that's natural. But there must be somebody, some group of people who will accept you as you are.

Try volunteering. The sick and the elderly would glad to have some tender loving care. The animals at the local shelter need walking, cleaning, and loving. Sometimes if you give away what you need the most, you'll get it back ten-fold.

I hope that you'll be feeling better soon.

Cheers from Chiqui