What is wrong w/ me? Why is this so hard and so important? I feel like I've been going in circles lately. I used to weigh myself everyday. Any change and I'd analyze why it happened. Finally I stopped doing that but now I measure myself! It's so weird. I'm so weird. I had lost an inch or so off my hips and thighs and waist and then today I measured myself and I have gained almost all of it back. Maybe it's just b/c I'm PMSing but I don't think so. I had too much to drink on New Year's and at like 4 in the morning I devoured junk food from 7-11 without even thinking.
I want to cry but I can't. Why am I so sad? I feel so weak and retarded b/c I can't even control my own body....
I know I'm making progress though, compared to how I used to be...I did drugs (mostly speed) during my whole high school career. I guess after I quit I replaced drugs with food. I was anoreic, bulimic, and now I'm just struggling to loose the weight I've gained and feel healthy again. It's all grey out, I like it that way now, it fits my mood.
I'm so upset that I gained back what I lost this past week. Maybe it's just from water weight or something or my period but I don't thnk so.