Fredinand,
You sound SO much like me! I lost, and regained 40 pounds last year, and although I didn't have a death of a loved one to deal with, my mother had a stroke, things here at home are stressed, and I use any excuse I can come up with to eat anything in sight!
I have been married 32 years, and I'm just about your age. Maybe we can help each other get back on track..and talk now and then rather than eat?? My email is rose_32008~yahoo.com. Drop me a note, I'd love to have somebody in the same boat as I am to chat with!
My condolences on your loss, and good luck this year!