I can feel what you're feeling-I think your carbs have caught up with you -literally, and it's a scary thing to face. I'm in somewhat the same place, diabetic family, etc, and after roaming this forum for a few weeks, reading and re-reading DANDR, it suddenly dawned on me--I am a sugar addict duh! Very hard to face and I, too, have children, and worry that I won't be here for them and I'm not setting a good example and helping them, either, by the choices I have made. Time to do something. I've found, in the past, that if I 'just do it', don't tell everybody, just start, no fanfare no big production, it works better for me. Maybe for you?? I really, really believe that you can do it this time, just take one hour, one day at a time, and it WILL happen! Will be thinking of you...