PoofieD, CindySue, Paleonth, Yesican ...(lol..what a group of names, lol) ... I thank you for sharing your stories and your support... I'm on day 4 1/2 now - and so far, I haven't cheated once...I even bought some Iced Monster Cupcakes for the grandkids ... and didn't even think of anything else in that bakery case (well, I thought about it), but resolve won out ... and I left.

Fourteen months ago I was on the Interstate near our home. I felt a heart attack coming on (I was drenched in sweat, and had not feeling in either arm) - though I though that left arm pain or the more classic symtoms would precurse a heart attack ... believe me, when it hits though, you just know! I bailed off the Interstate on an offramp which thank God was right there. I pulled immediately onto the shoulder of the offramp, onto the grass, (lol...the city is still suing me for that...and they are going to win...small price to pay!), anyway, I had my cell phone and called 911 ... and then I passed out. The fire rescue crew that found and resusitated me advised me in the emergency room that another couple of minutes and they could not have revived me at all. That evening, close to midnight, I had an emergency 5-way bypass ... and according to my wife, the doctor's told her I was "touch and go" ...

I thanked my nerosurgeon recently for saving my life, his answer was classic .. "I didn't save your life, Steve, God did. I just did the surgery". Classy answer.

Obviously, I made it ... but I still weigh the same as I weighed on October 30, 2001 ... the day my heart attacked me.

It's not that I'm so embarrassed by my weight ... sure it's uncomfortable and I'd prefer to be slim ... but I've lived with it for so many years, I've developed a very well infra-structured denial system ... But, I have to stay alive. My wife and I have been happily married for 38 years (or 39, lol ... I never remember), have two wonderful adult children who don't ask for money ... two life-affirming grandkids (did you ever hear that Grandchildren Are God's Gift To You ... For Not Killing Your Kids) ... a loving family, decent friends, fair financial success ... and I'm as unhappy as can be. What the Hell has stopped me so many times for keeping weight off. (I've lost more than 100 pounds twice in the last 10 years ... both times by near-starvation dieting)..and of course, I celebrated the weight losses at really good All You Can Stuff In Your Mouth Buffets.

Then I heard about Dr. Atkins ... through the tv coverage last week ... read his $24.95 hardcover book, and have spent hours and hours lurking around this site.

The Diet ... and this way of life feels right.

I'll start a journal soon, I think...but in the meantime, I've got to go out to Baker's (one of the good supermarket chains here in Omaha), and find something low carb that I can make for dinner...my wife's at some meeting tonight, and all I can find here is lot's of frozen dinners, Graham Crackers, fruits galore, oatmeal (that I'm going to miss), some really good bread that I got a few days ago (PreAtkins) and one of those great bread places that lure you in only to fill you up with carbohydrates.

SteveF