When I was really young I believed in the power of makeup to make you beautiful. I had a young friend who wasn't terribly pretty by nature, but I showed her how to use makeup and she got very good at making herself look beautiful. She was very rigid about it, believed that she had to do it all every day. (Probably still does, although I don't know her anymore).

My ex husband (before we were married) told me that I was a "natural beauty" and that she was not.

A former teacher once asked me how much time it took to put on my makeup in the morning. When I told her "about a half an hour" she told me that there would come a point where I wouldn't wear any at all. I didn't believe her, but I'm there. It just doesn't seem terribly important any more.

Yes it takes a lot of time and energy to be "vain". It also takes a lot of fear that you aren't good enough as you are. I suppose women who know they look ok without makeup aren't so fearful of people seeing them without it.

I don't think that we have to feel that being thinner means we suddenly have to start doing ourselves up all the time. If we don't care about that fat, why should we care about it thin?

I do know what you mean Poofie though about the "good girl" syndrome. Good girls (in our society) seem to put everyone else first. We don't walk away from marriages (even if they aren't working), unless the right rules have been broken. (In my case that meant that he had to cheat on me first).

We can begin to love ourselves though. We can allow ourselves the things we need. BUT it takes courage. It still goes back to what I was saying about fear. We have to overcome the fear, whatever that fear is.