orchidday -

please don't be so hard on yourself!!!!

With your strict upbringing, with regards to food, it doesn't surprise me that your subconcious (sp?) acts out once & awhile. I'm not a Dr - but it is plain to see that - and it may be the root of something more serious - but the main thing right now is to not beat yourself up over it!!!

Have you tried a bed-time snack? maybe this will 'satisfy' your need and you won't have these episodes....

When I wasn't LC-ing - just normal dieting - pure hell - I would get up in the middle of the night - and be awake - and go into the kitchen and find something sweet - lofat Hostess cupcakes - frozen mostly! - I think I did this because I felt 'deprived' - like everyone else got to have a treat - why can't I.......

I wish I could help more, but you aren't alone, and I'm sure there are others that can offer more/better advice.

Good Luck!
Take care,
amy