It kind of sounds like you know something about weight training and then it kind of sounds like you are a beginner so I'm going to assume that my info is useful to you regardless.

A great way for women to learn the basics of weight training is to combine the following:

1. Read any of various weight training books written by Joyce Vedral. Learn the basics of sets, reps, routines, etc. from her. DO NOT LEARN FORM FROM HER!!! Joyce tends to use bad form which shows in her book photos and exercise videos. You should be able to find Joyce Vedral books at your library or local used book store if you don't want to pay retail.

2. Go to www.videofitness.com to read up on reviews of available exercise videos. Find one that is recommended for beginner weight training. Videofitness will also tell you how to go about ordering various videos. There are some distributors you do not want to order from as they cause people credit card troubles to say the least (for example, don't order Richard Simmons, Leslie Sansone, or The Firm videos from the distributor). A good place to order from is www.collagevideo.com. Collage Video also has reviews. Some sites (and I think this includes Collage) have actual excerpts from the videos you can view. The Firm Videos are really fun and effective. There are plenty of Firms available retail and some in the series are Total Body at a Beginner Level. Firm Basics Sculpting With Weights comes to mind. Also, there are some Kathy Smith videos that are great for beginners. Karen Voight is a great instructor that you can learn from but I'm not sure if she has any beginner level videos out.

3. More sites for you to check out:
www.stumptuous.com/weights.html (For Women)
www.exrx.net/

Total body fat reduction will reduce the size of your breasts and that ab pooch. They say that working on the chest muscles will give you something to help support the breasts but as far as I can tell, that really doesn't do much. Imagine: Hold a sock in your hand. Now hold it tighter. Any change in how the sock droops? The ab pooch will diminish over time but you can get way thin and still have a pooch. I can tell from my pooch that although the majority of the problem is fat, there is something (muscle I assume) below the fat that pooches. I've been doing traditional ab work on the floor, no weights, with videos for a long time. These haven't been effective for my pooch (i.e. the portion that is not fat is not flattening out with what I've been doing). I'm going to try something else but don't know yet what that will be. Sometimes I think focusing on holding the abs in while running or fast walking has helped me more than doing reverse crunches.