I don't understand the thinking in our culture, especially when it comes to diets, that one lapse means we are somehow a failure.

When I've done really well for awhile, and then eat something I shouldn't, or even binge for a bit, or whatever....I try not to see those few minutes, or even hours, as having taken away from me all the success I"ve had for the previous days. The previous days cannot be taken away from me, they are the past, for better or worse.

I also try not to let that lapse mean "now that I've blown the diet, I may as well just keep on blowing it!" If I do that, I am carrying what would be a momentary disappointment or feeling of failure into the future.

To me, that is a setup for bad feelings about oneself and continued failure.

If I have a momentary lapse, whether it lasts for minutes or hours, I find that the best attitude for me to take is to remind myself that a momentary lapse doesn't mean I have to continue it into the next day. A few bad moments don't have to turn into a bad day, a bad week, or a much longer period of feeling bad.

I am entirely responsible for what happens to me, before, after, and during a lapse. I was responible for my success up to that point. I was responsible that any lapse that happened, and I am responsible for how long I let it go on .

I think it's nothing more than low self esteem that keeps many in our culture thinking that a lapse means failure, and so we may as well give up.

Sure, it's disappointing, and frustrating, but we don't have to live in that disappointment and frustration and deem ourselves worthless failures as a result, whether for a single moment or many weeks. It's entirely up to us how long we want to stay in that place, or just move on with what's important.

AJ