Bring a tape recorder with you to any restaurant. First ask to talk with the manager and play back what the waitress said, and then sue for attempted murder. (Hey, being obese cuts life expectancy).

I've had more hell over ribs with no sauce then I know what to do with. Half the time, they try to rinse it off, but I can taste, and usually even SEE, the sauce there. I find the phrase "deathly allergic" sometimes works to procure honesty.